The Golden Girls (TV Series)
Even Grandmas Get the Blues (1991)
Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak
Quotes
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Blanche Devereaux : [in a dress with a low cut blouse] Do I look convincing?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : As what, ye olde town slut?
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Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Ma, you lied to me.
Sophia Petrillo : Tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny - I've been messing with your head for almost sixty years.
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Sophia Petrillo : Hi, pussycat, how was school?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Oh, I hate those smart kids. They may be our brightest but they're also our rudest, considering most of them are guests in our country. No, give me a class of red-blooded underachievers.
Sophia Petrillo : Pussycat, when you were in Junior High school and the kids gave you a hard time, what did I say?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Awww, you told me I was extra-special and they were just jealous.
Sophia Petrillo : That's right. And if they still gave you a hard time, what did I tell you to say?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : My mother can have you eliminated with one phone call. But Ma, this is different. You know, I've always wanted to teach an honors class, but now that I am, well, the kids are making me feel stupid.
Sophia Petrillo : Dorothy, I'm gonna tell you something I never told you before. When you were about twelve and we lived in Brooklyn, they called me into the school to tell me you had the highest IQ in the borough.
Rose Nylund : That's a coincidence. I was told I had the IQ *of* a burro.
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Sophia Petrillo : Dorothy, when was the last time you had sex?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : [laughs nervously] That's a very personal question!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : That long, huh?
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Sophia Petrillo : When was the last time you had sex?
Rose Nylund : A... couple weeks ago.
Sophia Petrillo : Let's not split hairs, Rose, you're the queen of the festival.
Rose Nylund : I'm... I'm the queen?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : You're also the fool so we're saving a lot on payroll.