- Rose Nylund: I'm the kiss of death. It's the second time a man has died in my bed.
- Blanche Devereaux: The second time?
- Rose Nylund: Dorothy knows.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Charlie.
- Blanche Devereaux: No! What exactly do you do in bed, Rose?
- Rose Nylund: Nothing!
- Blanche Devereaux: Well maybe that's the problem, they have to do all the work.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Rose, are you sure you'll be alright here alone?
- Sophia Petrillo: She'll be fine, if anybody breaks in she'll just have to sleep with them.
- Lucille Beatty: Mrs. Nylund, you've been sleeping with my husband who has just died. See if you can pull yourself together because in a minute I'm going to need some comforting myself!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [Sophia tells them that Arnie is dead] Ma, he is not, Rose, you go look.
- Rose Nylund: Come on Dorothy, he's sleeping, I don't want to wake him.
- Sophia Petrillo: You could light firecrackers in his nostrils, you won't wake him.
- Rose Nylund: [Dorothy tries to convince Rose to notify Al's family] I can't tell her where he died!
- Sophia Petrillo: Tell her you went to turn on the sprinklers and you found him on the lawn.
- Rose Nylund: That's not bad.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [Blanche and Dorothy are playing cards, Sophia keeps shaking her head for Blanche's plays] Stop telling her what to play.
- Sophia Petrillo: I haven't said anything, have I Blanche?
- Blanche Devereaux: Not a word.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You keep shaking your head!
- Sophia Petrillo: I've been holding it up for 80 years, you'd shake too!
- Blanche Devereaux: [has Dorothy try a new recipe] It's called creamy zesty Italian, only has one calorie, what do you think?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: If you ran it under the faucet it would have more flavor.
- Blanche Devereaux: Shoot.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Honey, beware anybody who says 'no calories', 'absolutely no charge', and 'let's just go lie down in bed and watch TV'.