The Golden Girls (TV Series)
The Audit (1987)
Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak
Photos
Quotes
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Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Five thousand dollars? We don't have five thousand dollars!
Mr. Murray : Uncle Sam doesn't like to hear that.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Aunt Dorothy doesn't like saying it!
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Stan Zbornak : [bawling] Oh my God, we're going to jail Dorothy!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : That's right, Stanley, and please, let me know where you and Bubba are registered for your china.
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Rose Nylund : Norweigans are notoriously bad at Spanish.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I guess that's why there are no herring tacos.
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Rose Nylund : I can't get my promotion unless I become bilingual.
Blanche Devereaux : Oh no! Honey don't do that, no job is worth having to date women!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Blanche! Bilingual means someone who speaks more than one language!
Blanche Devereaux : Oh!
[laughs]
Blanche Devereaux : And here I thought it was something sexual.
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Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [about her ring] This means a lot to me. My husband gave it to me after 38 years of marriage.
Blanche Devereaux : And after 38 years of marriage, he also dumped you for a 23 year-old stewardess with firm thighs and perky breasts!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [to the clerk at the pawn shop] You got yourself a ring, muchacho!
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Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [Stan's carrying a trash bag] Hello Stan, so nice of you to bring garbage.
Stan Zbornak : This is all of our receipts from five years ago, our entire future is in this bag.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : How appropriate.
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[Dorothy is in dire financial straits following an audit and needs to raise $2500 in a month]
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : ...I'm just gonna have to sell some of my stuff.
Sophia Petrillo : Hold it! No daughter of mine is "Selling her stuff". It's immoral. It's a sin. And let's face it Dorothy, lately you can't give it away!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, I'm talking about selling some of my belongings!
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Stan Zbornak : They could put us in jail!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Good! I want you to go to jail, and I want a big bald inmate named Bubba to pick you for his girlfriend!
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Sophia Petrillo : What's going on in here?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, Stan bought a Corvette without telling me!
Sophia Petrillo : So what? Your father used to do things without telling me all the time! How do you think I got pregnant with your brother, Phil?
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Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I think I'm gonna cry.
Blanche Devereaux : No, honey, now, don't do that; your eyes will get all beady and your nose will swell up like Karl Malden's.