- Blanche Devereaux: [after Dorothy violently pounds on the stall she's trapped in] Dorothy, you do that one more time and I'm going to write on the wall "For a good time, call Dorothy Zbornak".
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [laughs] Blanche, this is the ladies' room.
- Blanche Devereaux: RIGHT!
- Mangiacavallo: [addressing the reception crowd] This is Sophia Petrillo, the woman who stood me up at the altar 65 years ago.
- Sophia Petrillo: And?
- Mangiacavallo: And I've just asked her to marry me again, and again she said no.
- Sophia Petrillo: And?
- Mangiacavallo: And, so from now on... I'm gay.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma, will you hand me the newspaper?
- [Sophia sits on it]
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Next time I'll ask you to hand me the candlesticks.
- Blanche Devereaux: [trapped in a bathroom stall] Dorothy Zbornak, let me out of here!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: There's only one way out, Blanche, and I don't think you can hold your breath that long.
- Sophia Petrillo: I *was* quite a looker back then.
- Mangiacavallo: Longest legs of any girl in the village.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Look at the way Blanche is nuzzling up to him! I'm not going to take this lying down.
- Sophia Petrillo: I don't think you're gonna be invited.