- Ralph Hinkley: Where'd you get this car?
- Bill Maxwell: Crack Jack box. When you're hunting down a clown, you're supposed to look like one. That's Carlisle's theory.
- Ralph Hinkley: What are you guys doing here?
- Paco Rodriguez: Far out with the red cape and the red underwear here, Mr. H.
- Ralph Hinkley: Uh, yeah. It's kind of silly, isn't it?
- Cyler Johnson: It needs a purple hate and a Cadillac.
- Ralph Hinkley: Well, they gave it to me. I'm gonna be shot off in a cannon today.
- Tony Villicana: What? Did you lose your whole box of spaghetti or something? Running around in your underwear on this geek show.
- Les Carlisle: You think you're going pretty good, don't you, Maxwell? Except you're a one-man band. You step on regulations, you ignore dress codes. You crash more cars than a college fraternity. Despite your record, you are lousy for morale around here because younger agents are starting to idolize you and your offbeat style.
- Bill Maxwell: [giggling] Really? No kidding. Are they? I'm sorry.
- Les Carlisle: You think you've been getting stinking cases up till now? Oh, Bill, I got some cases smell so bad, I've been afraid to open them in public. Little itty-bitty stinkers. As of now, you are going to be in charge of every yahoo deal that comes through the door. Fun, huh?
- Bill Maxwell: Oh, sir, I think you're making a mistake.
- Les Carlisle: I want you to find me a clown, Bill. His name is uri Yovanovitch. He's a Polish national. His specialty is getting out of a two-foot high squashed car, walking backwards on his hands. You two oughta get along like brothers. All you gotta do is find him.
- Bill Maxwell: A... Polish clown?
- Les Carlisle: Takes one to find one is my theory. Oh, yes! And, Bill? I spoke to the motor pool about reassigning you a new vehicle. Being as you're averaging about one a month, we wanted to get you one we felt expendable. It's an undercover car. Radio's underneath the seat. You'll find it downstairs, parked right behind the building. It'll fit right in at the circus.