- Col. Wilhelm Klink: [Col. Klink and Helga are listening to music being played by the POWs] You know, Helga, do you know that the whole of our beautiful national soul, our culture is expressed in "The Ride of the Valkyries?"
- Helga: As a warrior, you must feel it deeply.
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: I do. Perhaps, someday, as a fallen hero, I shall be carried off to Valhalla across the saddle of a beautiful German war maiden, such as you my dear Helga.
- Helga: Are you volunteering for active duty Herr Kommandant?
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Be quiet and listen to the music!
- [last lines]
- Col. Wilhelm Klink: Colonel Hogan, just tell me this. Was it really Colonel Crittenden who was responsible for yesterday?
- Col. Robert E. Hogan: Well, let's put it this way. We had to lose him - he was bad luck.
- Sgt. Schultz: Please, Colonel Hogan, my family. Did I tell you I'm the sole provider? You should see how they can eat! Please, Colonel Hogan.