Homicide: Life on the Street (TV Series)

Law & Disorder (1995)

Richard Belzer: Detective John Munch

Quotes 

• Tim Bayliss : How 'bout you help me out on the Pratt murder?

  Det. John Munch : [laughs nervously]  Conflict of interest 104, never get involved in the homicide investigation of someone who tried to KILL you!

  Tim Bayliss : [incredulous]  That makes sense... you know, John, I was at Iceros the other day, and I was talking to these two waitresses who were working yesterday, and... no one remembers ever seeing you.

  Det. John Munch : ...No kidding...

  Tim Bayliss : ...Yeah...

  Det. John Munch : Well... it was, uh, Zorba's or Gian's... I'd been driving around in a regressive purple haze... there's documented cases of that happening, you know.

  Tim Bayliss : ...Yeah... you know, there's not.

  Det. John Munch : [drops the glass he is holding, looking annoyed]  ... You want my gun, Detective? I carry a glock, just like you. Want to check it out and see if it's been fired recently?

  [Munch holds out his gun, looking rather suspicious] 

  Det. John Munch : Huh? GO AHEAD!

  [Bayliss picks up the gun and Munch stands back, a slightly worried look in his eyes, but says nothing. Bayliss holds the gun but at the last second, hands it back without checking it] 

  Tim Bayliss : ...Here.

  Det. John Munch : ...I gotta make a phone call.

  [walks away apprehensively] 

  Tim Bayliss : Yeah...

• Det. John Munch : [after seeing a picture of himself in an art gallery]  I'm naked! My dingle is blowing in the wind!