The Honeymooners (TV Series)
A Woman's Work Is Never Done (1955)
Audrey Meadows: Alice Kramden
Photos
Quotes
-
Alice Kramden : I am the only girl in town with an atomic kitchen. This place looks like Yucca Flats after the blast!
-
Ralph Kramden : [Thelma the maid has been introduced to the Kramdens, and her appearance is not what Ralph expected] *This* is a maid? I thought maids had short skirts with white hats and black silk stockings.
Alice : Ralph!
Thelma : [speaking to the agency manager, indicating Ralph] The chubby one's gonna be trouble.
-
Alice : Thelma, what my husband meant was he just wants to explain your duties to you.
Thelma : Oh, yeah, what I gotta do. And I might as well tell you right now: I can't do no heavy work. I'm sickly.
Ralph : Sickly? Well, first of all, you'll have to go to the market. Then you'll have to cook, scrub the floors...
Thelma : I don't scrub no floors!
Alice : You're so right, Thelma. My husband will be glad to scrub the floors.
Ralph : Now wait a minute!
Thelma : You'll scrub the floor!. That's a man's work.
Ralph : Just a minute. Who's doing the hiring here? All right, Alice, it's all off!
Alice : Oh, no, Ralph, I'm not giving up my career. So it's either Thelma or you.
Thelma : And I might as well tell you somethin' else, right now: I get Thursdays and Sundays off, see? My work is through the minute the supper dishes are done. I don't work in no house where they got no pets, so you might as well get rid of one if you got one. If you're gonna have a party, I get time-and-a-half over and the next day off. And, uh, if you're planning on having any late snacks, I don't do no cleaning up the next morning. And this boy looks like he has plenty of late snacks.
-
Alice Kramden : Let me tell you something. There's an old, old saying, Ralph: "Man works from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done."
Ralph Kramden : [snootily] Good gosh!
Alice Kramden : I'll tell you why woman's work is never done, Ralph. Because she's got the toughest boss in this whole world: a husband!
-
Ralph Kramden : Is that a new shade of lipstick you have?
Alice Kramden : No. I got a promotion today. Now I'm a jelly donut taster.
Ralph Kramden : Oh, and look at those alabaster hands. How white and pure.
Alice Kramden : That's powdered sugar.
Ed Norton : I don't think the flattery is going so good. Why don't you try a left hook.
-
Ralph : Don't start that again, Alice. No wife of mine is gonna work. I got my pride. You know, no Kramden woman has ever supported her husband. The Kramden men are the workers in the family.
Alice : Wait a minute, Ralph. What about your father? For a long time there he didn't work at all.
Ralph : But neither did my mother. At least he kept his pride, Alice. He went on relief.