- Dr. David Bruce Banner: [voice over] My hopes that the serum would stop the metamorphosis are gone. Even after the last 20 injections, the condition persists. With this latest dissapointment I must reexamine the entire concept of a cure.
- Earl: [on the phone] Oh, a fever huh? Well, That ain't no excuse. You're coming in, or I get somebody new. Ah Jeez. Ah... your fired! Gesundheit.
- Jasper the Great: In vaudeville, you learn to always bungle the first attempt at a trick.
- Earl: And that was your last attempt. Now get out of here. And you too, dum-dum. You go out too, with him.
- Jasper the Great: David, in you I see the mysteries of the universe. You have powers you're not even aware of. Okay, so you're no Harry Houdini, but... If I can pull a rabbit out of a hat, I can pull the sorcerer out of you.
- Jasper the Great: Oh look, look Neptune's Torture chamber. It's the illusion I'm best known for. It brings the house down every time!
- Dr. David Bruce Banner: Looks lethal enough, all right.
- Edgar McGee: Eh, fellow, be careful with that chair now, 'cause that's an antique. Napoleon once sat in that chair, right here in this theater! Napoleon the juggler. You remember 'im don't ya?
- Jasper the Great: A lesson the Great Houdini taught me: Just when your ready to give up, the magic finally works.
- Earl: [to David] What are you doing, resting your dishpan hands? I should have asked for references.
- [Ben sees Jasper]
- Ben: Is that him? The uh, fly in the ointment?
- Giancarlo Corleone: Si si, that is him.
- Ben: You want to cut the accent?
- Giancarlo Corleone: If he interferes with the wedding, man, you don't get your money.
- Ben: Then I'll see to it he doesn't interfere.