- Det. Sgt. Ed Brown: [Ironside banging fist on the wall] Chief, we've been that route. Every square foot, even the ceilings.
- Robert T. Ironside: I'm one of the do-it-yourself school, or hadn't you noticed?
- Det. Sgt. Ed Brown: I've noticed.
- Robert T. Ironside: Where's Ed?
- Mark Sanger: In the Haunted Bedroom, rapping.
- Robert T. Ironside: On the walls?
- Mark Sanger: And with witnesses.
- Fran Belding: What really beats me is you figured it out all by yourself while we ran ourselves ragged.
- Robert T. Ironside: As a critic once observed about Gulliver's Travels, once you've thought about big men and little men, there's nothing to it... .
- Det. Sgt. Ed Brown: Just who was that critic, Chief?
- Mark Sanger: Who else?
- Mark Sanger: [Fran jumps as he enters] Hey now, if you thought I was a spook, I'd take that personally.