The Jeffersons (TV Series)

George's Skeleton (1975)

Sherman Hemsley: George Jefferson

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Jefferson : [answering phone]  Ain't nobody home.

  [hangs up] 

• George Jefferson : You ever run across a story about a dude who committed a crime say a long time ago, and a RAT, who knows about it, begins to hound him and hound him?

  Tom Willis : Well, that sounds like Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.

  George Jefferson : Le who?

  Tom Willis : Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.

  George Jefferson : Oh, how's it go?

  Tom Willis : Well the hero, Jean Valjean, was relentlessly pursued by his tormentor. But he finally found his freedom.

  George Jefferson : How'd he do that?

  Tom Willis : Well the villain killed himself.

  George Jefferson : Oh that's good, so the good guy got away and lived happily ever after?

  Tom Willis : No, he drowned in a sewer.

• Monk Davis : [about Bently]  That sure is a weird dude, you know some FUNNY white folks.

  George Jefferson : I'd rather have HIS kind of weird than YOUR kind of weird.

• George Jefferson : I never told you this before because I didn't want to lose your respect, but, when I was 15 years old, I was sent to jail.

  Louise Jefferson : You mean reformatory.

  George Jefferson : Reformatory, jail, what's the difference? I was sent up for robbery.

  Louise Jefferson : Shoplifting.

  George Jefferson : How do you know?

  Louise Jefferson : Well George, I've known about it for years.

  Lionel Jefferson : Yeah, me too, Pop.

  George Jefferson : What? Well how did you know? Who told you?

  Louise Jefferson : What's the difference? It's all in the past.

  George Jefferson : Because I want to know, I want to know who the dirty stool pigeon was that told you.

  Louise Jefferson : Your mother.

  George Jefferson : MAMA dropped a dime on ME?

  Louise Jefferson : She wanted to be sure I knew the real reason you did it, to get her a Christmas present.

• George Jefferson : [to Willis]  If you come to ask me about the cocktail party, the answer's no, and if you've come to ask me about anything else, the answer's still no.

• Louise Jefferson : Who just left, George?

  George Jefferson : Mr. Vanilla, and we still ain't going to his party.

• George Jefferson : This friend of mine, he's got a problem.

  Harry Bentley : Oh I'm sorry to hear it.

  George Jefferson : So am I. See, he got into some trouble when he was a kid in Harlem. His family was so poor, his mother had to hold down 2 jobs just so they could afford to starve. And one day he heard his mother bragging to this other lady that no matter how bad times was, her youngest son always came through with a fine Christmas present for her. That really tore him up because he knew damn well he never gave her no Christmas present, and he knew she wasn't going to get none this year neither.

  Harry Bentley : Well that's sad.

  George Jefferson : Anyhow, he had this buddy, see, and this buddy didn't have no money either, only it didn't matter for this buddy because he also didn't have a mother. So they got the idea of boosting something from Bloomingdales.

• George Jefferson : The kids got busted with a couple of watches and $50 worth of French perfume.

  Harry Bentley : Oh yes, the store detective saw them I suppose.

  George Jefferson : Naw, the store detective didn't see nothing. See the top came off one of the perfume bottles, and the man KNEW they didn't smell that way when they came in.

  Harry Bentley : That's sad, so the lad never got to give his mother the Christmas present, eh?

  George Jefferson : Not that season, because when they got before the judge with no lawyer or nothing, he gave them a year in the slammer.