- Nina Van Horn: I have a little something I've been working on my spare time at the office. It's called "What Lies Before Me". "A stapler. A pencil. Finger drumming on a desk. A vodka martini. Then nothing... nothing... nothing. Blinding headache!"
- Jack Gallo: You play bridge?
- Dennis Finch: I worked a summer at a retirement home. Why do you think my apartment is covered in afgans?
- Nina Van Horn: I wouldn't do that if I were you. I have very pointy elbows, and I'm not afraid to use them.
- Dennis Finch: Nina, I formally apologize for ruining our company photo by copying your bottom.
- Nina Van Horn: And?
- Dennis Finch: And for yelling "Who wants mangos, two for a buck?"
- Nina Van Horn: And?
- Dennis Finch: And for what I have planned for tomorrow.
- Nina Van Horn: Well, as long as you've learned your lesson.
- Karey Burke: Mr. Gallo, Maya's told me all about you.
- Jack Gallo: And?
- Karey Burke: And if she can forgive you, so can I.
- Nina Van Horn: Let me give you a little tip. If you're in a foreign country and you have trouble with the law, just remember these three little words: not my baggie.
- Nina Van Horn: That girl is wasting her youth in a place like college. She's going to be a supermodel. She reminds me of me when I was that age.
- Maya Gallo: No, she can't remind you of you at that age, because she reminds me of me at that age, and me at that age was nothing like you at that age!
- Maya Gallo: Is Karey here?
- Elliot DiMauro: I heard a crash over at wardrobe, you might try looking there.
- Maya Gallo: She's a talented writer, not some empty-headed mannequin!
- Nina Van Horn: And what's that supposed to mean?
- Maya Gallo: Exactly!
- Nina Van Horn: I'm sorry I called you big-headed and snobby.
- Maya Gallo: You didn't say that.
- Nina Van Horn: No, it's in my other poem, "Big-Headed and Snobby."
- Maya Gallo: You know, it's not too late for us. I could take a year off, go hiking through Europe, live in hostels and wait tables to get by.
- Nina Van Horn: And I could go to college, do homework and take exams, and read, read, read.
- [pause]
- Maya Gallo: Seems like a hassle.
- Nina Van Horn: Screw it.
- Jack Gallo: It's not just a game, it's a twenty-year grudge match. The Gallos versus the Gordons. Our wives may change, but the battle rages on.
- Nina Van Horn: [on phone] I'm telling you, you haven't seen a look like this since a certain raven-haired beauty. Me. Nina? Van Horn? No, I'm not dead!
- Elliot DiMauro: She has the kind of natural beauty that usually only comes after $15,000 of surgery.