Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)

King Lear Jet (1997)

Laura San Giacomo: Maya Gallo

Quotes 

• Jack Gallo : [looking at a photo]  Uh-oh, nipple.

  Dennis Finch : Really? Give it! I see, there's Waldo. Good eye, chief.

  Elliot DiMauro : Let me see. Oh, yeah, turkey's done.

  Maya Gallo : Hopefully, this concludes Mutual of Omaha's Nipple Safari.

  Elliot DiMauro : Oh, Maya. I forgot you were still here.

  Maya Gallo : Well, it was my fault for wearing a shirt.

• Maya Gallo : How can you hate Shakespeare? In one couplet, Shakespeare is able to capture the gamut of human emotion: love, joy, sorrow, fear...

  Elliot DiMauro : Boredom.

  Maya Gallo : You too?

  Elliot DiMauro : Face it, no one actually loves Shakespeare. They just say they do, like cuddling.

  Maya Gallo : If that's so, then why have his plays been performed for four hundred years?

  Nina Van Horn : I saw Shakespeare in the park. Seemed like four hundred years.

• Maya Gallo : The man wrote 37 plays, each more brilliant than the last. Except for Pericles. I think he phoned in that one.

• Elliot DiMauro : Methinks the lady doth pack too much.

  Nina Van Horn : A skycap, a skycap, my kingdom for a skycap!

  Maya Gallo : My kingdom for a muzzle.

• Dennis Finch : Oh, you hate to see this.

  Maya Gallo : What?

  Dennis Finch : You're the only woman in here. That kind of boy-girl ratio does not favor the Finch.

• Maya Gallo : [about Jack's remote control door]  Why would anyone need something like that?

  Nina Van Horn : Let me tell you about the bad day I've had. It all started when I woke up...

  [Jack closes door on her] 

  Maya Gallo : I want one of those.

• Maya Gallo : How could you give those tickets to Elliot and Nina?

  Jack Gallo : They asked me for them.

  Maya Gallo : But I'm the one who loves Shakespeare!

  Jack Gallo : How was I supposed to know that?

  Maya Gallo : It was my major in college. I named the family cat Othello.

  Jack Gallo : So? You named your turtle Amelia Earhart. That didn't mean you wanted to be a pilot.

  Maya Gallo : Actually, it did. I logged in over 400 hours.

• Dennis Finch : Jack, that was Ally. Something about King Lear.

  Maya Gallo : King Lear?

  Dennis Finch : You know, to snore or not to snore?