- Dennis Finch: Could have warned me about the cage.
- Elliot DiMauro: Yeah, I'm going around telling everyone I was locked in a cage. I warned you to stay away from her. You are going to stay away from her, right?
- Dennis Finch: Yes, definitely... Probably not.
- Elliot DiMauro: She put you in a cage.
- Dennis Finch: Well, when you think about it, we all live in a cage. Isn't society, by nature, the biggest cage of all?
- Elliot DiMauro: Society doesn't take the key with it when it goes to Starbucks.
- Elliot DiMauro: Licking stamps?
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, I was. Now I'm just answering obvious questions.
- Nikki Ellston: Hi. Licking stamps?
- Dennis Finch: Good question. Yes, I am.
- Elliot DiMauro: Nina, I told you I'd never work with Nikki Ellston.
- Nina Van Horn: I thought you said Mickey Rooney.
- Elliot DiMauro: Why would I say Mickey Rooney?
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, that's right. *I* won't work with Mickey Rooney. Don't ask.
- Nikki Ellston: What are you doing later?
- Dennis Finch: [in disbelief yet almost accusatory] Are you asking me out?
- Nikki Ellston: I think it'd be fun.
- Dennis Finch: Maybe we're not on the same page here, here. Um, you mean, going out? Like in dinner, a movie... naughty time?
- Nikki Ellston: Mmm, I don't eat dinner - and I hate movies - so... when do you think you'll be able to get out from behind that desk?
- Dennis Finch: It's gonna be a couple minutes.
- Elliot DiMauro: This is the beginning of your worst nightmare.
- Dennis Finch: No, my worst nightmare involves being covered in frogs.
- Jack Gallo: The budget is extremely tight right now.
- Nina Van Horn: Really?
- Jack Gallo: Yes. We all have to make sacrifices.
- Dennis Finch: Jack, your solid gold spy pen just arrived.
- Elliot DiMauro: She left you in the woods, buddy. Nice girls don't do that.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah! There were bees, and other loud things.
- Nikki Ellston: Those were just tree frogs.
- Dennis Finch: Tree frogs? Good God! If I had known that earlier, I would have run into a big rock and killed myself!
- Nina Van Horn: What's going on?
- Maya Gallo: Oh, good, you're here. We're having an intervention.
- Nina Van Horn: Hey! Those are vitamins, I swear.
- Maya Gallo: No, the intervention is for Dennis.
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, goody! I've never been in on this end of one. Who wants a drink?
- Dennis Finch: Hey.
- Elliot DiMauro: Finch, this is an intervention.
- Dennis Finch: [to Nina] Ha, ha, ha! I knew those weren't vitamins!
- Nina Van Horn: I think it's time for an Indian chant.
- [chants]
- Jack Gallo: Nina, no.
- Nina Van Horn: This intervention sucks.
- Dennis Finch: A man doesn't go sprinting through the sticker bushes in his underpants without coming out a little wiser.
- Elliot DiMauro: We have to stop Finch, before it turns into Fatal Attraction.
- Jack Gallo: I loved that movie! He goes out with a woman once, and she becomes totally obsessed. Gotta boost a man's ego.
- Elliot DiMauro: You don't understand. Nikki, she... she has a wild side.
- Dennis Finch: Oh, poor, puritanical, horse-and-buggy-driving Jedediah.
- Elliot DiMauro: You're going to regret this.
- Dennis Finch: The only thing I regret is not putting talcum on under these pants.
- Maya Gallo: Why can't you let Finch have this one? You go out with thousands of models all the time.
- Elliot DiMauro: You don't understand. Nikki is crazy.
- Maya Gallo: You're so jealous.
- Elliot DiMauro: I'm not saying Nikki's crazy because I'm jealous. I'm saying she's crazy because she is crazy.
- Nikki Ellston: Hi, Elliot.
- Elliot DiMauro: Oh, hey, Nikki! This is Maya Gallo.
- Nikki Ellston: Maya Gallo. You wrote that article about teen heroin addicts in the Village Voice.
- Maya Gallo: Yes.
- Nikki Ellston: I read that piece. I was really moved.
- Maya Gallo: Thank you.
- [Nikki leaves]
- Maya Gallo: Wow. You weren't kidding. What a loon.
- Elliot DiMauro: Believe me, she makes a good first impression.
- Maya Gallo: Yes. When I was little I was petrified that there was a monster under my bed that would complement my work.
- Jack Gallo: Five thirty and he's still not back from lunch? Even in the seventies that wouldn't fly.
- Maya Gallo: You were right, Elliot. She is nuts.
- Elliot DiMauro: I told you. Now let's get him before she sends him to a biker bar in a sundress.
- Maya Gallo: How do you know that?
- Elliot DiMauro: I just know, okay?
- Dennis Finch: The cage was the last straw for you, wasn't it?
- Elliot DiMauro: Right after the cage. And a little time after that - boom! - it was over.
- Dennis Finch: Jack, I'm going out.
- Jack Gallo: Remember, stay away from that Nikki.
- Dennis Finch: I'm going to a party with her.
- Jack Gallo: Have fun!