Wendie Malick: Nina Van Horn

Quotes 

• Tess : This kinda rocks.

  Nina Van Horn : Yes it does. You know what would make it rock even more?

  Tess : Prescription back medication?

  Nina Van Horn : That's it, I'm gonna cry.

• Nina Van Horn : This is great. None of us is getting exactly what they want, and we all resent each other a little, just like a real family.

• Nina Van Horn : Okay, I'm in a hotel room floor, I'm fully clothed and there are no empty orange vials.

  [whistles] 

  Nina Van Horn : This is a stumper.

• Nina Van Horn : I don't want anyone to know I'm a grandmother, so if anyone asks, you're a temp.

  Tess : How about a model?

  Nina Van Horn : Good, just be sure to dumb down your vocabulary.

  Tess : Okay.

  Nina Van Horn : Dumber.

  Tess : Huh?

  Nina Van Horn : There you go.

• Tess : Here's your drink, grandma.

  Nina Van Horn : You're a sweet child, but if you call me that again, I'm going to have to take a swing at you.

• Nina Van Horn : Ah, you scored your first free drink in the big city. I'd better check it for poison.

  [takes a sip] 

  Nina Van Horn : Inconclusive. Further tests may be required.

• Nina Van Horn : Tess, you want to go places, try new things, and that's great. I did it at your age. But you have to draw the line somewhere, and this...

  [points at Dennis] 

  Nina Van Horn : This is the line.