Sasha Barrese: Tess

Quotes 

• Tess : This kinda rocks.

  Nina Van Horn : Yes it does. You know what would make it rock even more?

  Tess : Prescription back medication?

  Nina Van Horn : That's it, I'm gonna cry.

• Tess : You publish this magazine?

  Dennis Finch : When I'm not jumping my motorcycle over shark tanks.

  [makes motorcycle noises] 

  Tess : You're dangerous. I like that.

  Dennis Finch : Yeah, well, sometimes I dump a bucket of poison over my head just for laughs. Whatever.

• Nina Van Horn : I don't want anyone to know I'm a grandmother, so if anyone asks, you're a temp.

  Tess : How about a model?

  Nina Van Horn : Good, just be sure to dumb down your vocabulary.

  Tess : Okay.

  Nina Van Horn : Dumber.

  Tess : Huh?

  Nina Van Horn : There you go.

• Tess : Here's your drink, grandma.

  Nina Van Horn : You're a sweet child, but if you call me that again, I'm going to have to take a swing at you.

• Chloe : We're going to the zoo to see the new monkey house.

  Tess : Monkeys blow.

  Chloe : Hey, they share ninety percent of our DNA. Does ninety percent of you blow too? Forget it, I don't wanna know.