Enrico Colantoni: Elliot DiMauro

Quotes 

• Jack Gallo : I need help deciding what to give Maya for her birthday.

  Elliot DiMauro : You know what I give my grandma? A book of coupons. She can use it for things like lunches, checker dates, and free back rubs.

  Jack Gallo : How about instead of creepy grandma dollars, I just give her regular American dollars?

  Elliot DiMauro : You're judging me, aren't you?

  Jack Gallo : You rub your grandma.

• Elliot DiMauro : You know what I'm not going to do with this money? Spend it on my grammy.

  Jack Gallo : Yes, you will.

  Elliot DiMauro : She's got a hold on me, Jack.

• Maya Gallo : I wish you two would lay off this birthday stuff.

  Elliot DiMauro : I think I know what this is about, Maya. Thirty five is a hard birthday. When I turned thirty five, I ate and cried and ate and cried and ate and cried...

  Maya Gallo : My birthday is five months from now.

  Elliot DiMauro : That can't be right.

  Maya Gallo : Remember seven months ago when you proposed to me on my birthday and then you fainted and ruined my birthday? That was my birthday.

  Elliot DiMauro : Oh, yeah.

• Elliot DiMauro : Just be grateful you're still thirty-four and not thirty-eight, like me. Wow. Thirty-eight.

  [picks up a donut] 

  Elliot DiMauro : Hello, old friend.