- Maya Gallo: Hey, What's with the outfit?
- Kaylene: We're doing a Lover's Lane shoot.
- Jack Gallo: Based on your idea, Maya. Women in the Fifties.
- Maya Gallo: No, my idea was for a story on women in their fifties.
- Jack Gallo: Well, that's just distasteful.
- Jack Gallo: What's wrong with her? She has no interest in men. It's like she's throwing in the towel.
- Nina Van Horn: Yeah, into the women's locker room.
- Jack Gallo: What does that mean?
- Nina Van Horn: Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm just saying she's a lesbian.
- Jack Gallo: A notion just popped into my head. Pop, apropos of nothing. What do you say when I say "dating service"?
- Maya Gallo: That is a great idea.
- Jack Gallo: Oh, thank God.
- Maya Gallo: It can be a series of articles on how they're a good solution for the business professional, how it doesn't have the same stigma that it used to have...
- Nina Van Horn: No, no, no, dear. We mean a dating service for you.
- Maya Gallo: Me? Those things are for losers!
- Maya Gallo: Elliot, what was the name of that restaurant in France that you loved so much?
- Elliot DiMauro: Le... Something.
- Jack Gallo: Carl is not a bad guy, but I just don't think he's the one.
- Nina Van Horn: I mean, think about it. A bird in the hand is worth two if by sea.
- Jack Gallo: I don't know. He's not much of a go-getter. He's more of a sitter-arounder and reader-too-mucher.
- Nina Van Horn: How come she gets two weeks vacation and I only get one?
- Jack Gallo: Because last year you took 87 personal days.
- Jack Gallo: Ah, France. You'll love it. The quaint villages, the friendly people... Don't tell them you're a quarter Jewish.
- Maya Gallo: How would you like it if people were staring at you all day?
- Nina Van Horn: Like it? Why do you think I dress this way? Do you realize my bottom is completely numb?
- Maya Gallo: I promise I will get you something amazing.
- Dennis Finch: Yes, you will. You will go to a dark shop at Rue de St. Jacques at Marseilles. You will give this note to a man named Bobo. He will give you a package. You will not open it, you will not get it wet.
- Maya Gallo: Couldn't I just get you some cheese?
- Dennis Finch: Oh, it is cheese. It's amazing.
- Jack Gallo: And I am Jack Gallo, Maya's father.
- Carl: Oh, then I guess I should have brought a pig. You see, I'm a student of world cultures, and in the Solomon Islands it is customary to offer the father a pig. Or two pigs depending on the quality of the woman. I'm sure Maya's a 28-pig woman, but if it doesn't work out, I guess I owe you a goat.
- Nina Van Horn: He's perfect for her.
- Dennis Finch: Question one: You take Maya to a restaurant. The waiter accidentally spills wine on her blouse. What do you do?
- Carl: Apologize for choosing the restaurant, then spill wine on myself as a show of unity.
- Dennis Finch: Question two: You take Maya to a play, but once you get there, you discover there is nudity, but it's tastefully done, story related. What do you do?
- Carl: Apologize for choosing the play, if she decides to stay, I use my body language to make it clear to her that I'm in no way aroused.
- Dennis Finch: What's your favorite Sondheim musical?
- Carl: I'm going to surprise you. Passions.
- Dennis Finch: Okay, we're done here.
- Carl: Can I rethink my answer to the first question?
- Dennis Finch: No.
- Elliot DiMauro: There you go, twisting my words against me. See, this is why men don't share their feelings. Women remember.