- Trip Larsen: My great-grandfather started Larsen Pork Products with little more than three pigs and a killing hammer. Today, I'm proud to say, we kill more pigs than pig hepatitis.
- [Luanne's crazed boyfriend has fallen into a pork processing machine]
- Luanne Platter: Well, at least Trip seemed happy, and now he's in a better place.
- Peggy Hill: Honey, Trip had a mental breakdown and is now a sausage. That's not a better place.
- [Trip and Luanne are flying in a hot air balloon]
- Luanne Platter: You know so much, and I know so little. I hope that doesn't make you think I'm stupid.
- Trip Larsen: You are not stupid! You're ignorant.
- Luanne Platter: [angry] Wait, no! You can't call me...
- Trip Larsen: It's a compliment! It just means means you haven't had a chance to learn all the wrong things.
- Luanne Platter: No one has ever told me that before.
- Trip Larsen: Maybe that's because no one has ever understood how ignorant you truly are.
- [Trip and Luanne begin making out]
- Trip Larsen: Hank, how would you like a ride in a hot-air balloon? Hey, I don't need to tell you it's powered by propane.
- Hank Hill: That's one of the eight uses of propane I haven't experienced first-hand!
- Trip Larsen: The Larsen Pork Products woman is as comfortable dining with kings as she is slaughtering pigs.