L.A. Law (TV Series)

December Bribe (1987)

Milton Selzer: Judge Morris Hood

Quotes 

• Judge Morris Hood : My God, you look like a juror bringing in a guilty verdict.

  Leland McKenzie : Actually, the meeting went well, Morris. The DA's office has agreed to dismiss the charges if you'll resign from the bench.

  Judge Morris Hood : You couldn't tell me that yesterday?

  Leland McKenzie : I didn't want to get your hopes up till I'd also met with Nick Pierce at the state bar. I've just come from the breakfast meeting. He thinks the ethics commission will reinstate with only a 3-month suspension.

  Judge Morris Hood : Forget about that. Tell me about the meeting with the DA. They folded their tents just like that?

  Leland McKenzie : Their case is dubious.

  Judge Morris Hood : The case is crap, or else they wouldn't have folded that fast. Am I right?

  Leland McKenzie : Morris, the fact that their case is tainted doesn't vitiate the fact that you took a bribe. You've got to resign.

  Judge Morris Hood : Innocent until proven guilty, Leland. Besides, if I beat the criminal charges, the ethics committee can't touch me.

  Leland McKenzie : I wouldn't be so certain of that. Allegations of judicial impropriety. A federal wiretap suggesting that you may have taken a bribe on at least one other occasion. If the DA loses at trial, they'll throw this to the judicial committee and the bar. The same standards of evidence won't apply. You'll be thrown out of office, Morris. They'll never let you practice law again.

  Judge Morris Hood : I'm not some cheap crook. There's no case here, and you know it.

  [Morris takes a seat] 

  Judge Morris Hood : I was coerced.

  Leland McKenzie : A stronger man would have resisted. Morris, please listen to me. You've been lucky so far. But, look, neither of us is young any more. It's time, Morris. It's time to retire.

  Judge Morris Hood : [Scoffs]  Please.

  Leland McKenzie : Sit in the sun, hit some golf balls. God, that doesn't sound half bad.

  Judge Morris Hood : No. Just because you're old and ready for the boneyard doesn't mean I am.

  Leland McKenzie : Morris, if you insist on taking this to trial, you'll have to get yourself another lawyer.

  Judge Morris Hood : I'll be happy to get a new lawyer, Leland. I was just doing you a favor giving you this case anyway, thinking you would have been grateful to win a big one like this. But I guess you're past it, aren't you? I always knew you were overrated.

• Anchorwoman : [On TV]  We're live in downtown Los Angeles, where Judge Morris Hood has just arrived at a hastily-called news conference to announce his resignation. His decision to call it quits follows his highly-publicized arrest for allegedly accepting a bribe. Let's hear what he has to say.

  [Turned to Judge Morris Hood at the news conference] 

  Judge Morris Hood : Hey, I've served with diligence and integrity, and now I've earned the right to step aside.

  Reporter #1 : Sir, isn't it true that your resignation was key to the DA's office dropping criminal charges against you?

  Paul Glansman : My client is leaving the bench with all the privileges of his former position. Further than that, we have no comment.

  Reporter #2 : Mr. Glansman, is it true that Judge Hood is joining your criminal law practice?

  Paul Glansman : As a matter of fact, I have tendered an offer to Judge Hood, and I look forward to a long and rewarding association with such a distinguished colleague.

  Judge Morris Hood : Thank you, Paul. The truth is, my personal experience of the past few weeks has given me a renewed sense of purpose. After a short vacation with my wife, I'll look forward to defending individuals like myself who have been deprived of their constitutional rights.

  [Reporters shouting questions and Iris turned off the television] 

  Iris Hubbard : He just couldn't give you the satisfaction, could he? Hmm. You look tired. Why don't you go home?

  Leland McKenzie : Maybe I will. Go hit some gold balls.

  Iris Hubbard : Self-pity doesn't become you, Leland.

  Leland McKenzie : Nor does self-delusion. I'm not getting any younger, Iris.

  Iris Hubbard : Well, in 3 years, I'll be finished with law school. We could hang out a shingle, Hubbard and McKenzie. Ooh, that has a nice ring to it.

  Leland McKenzie : [laughs]  McKenzie and Hubbard.