L.A. Law (TV Series)

Hand Roll Express (1988)

Corbin Bernsen: Arnie Becker

Quotes 

• Arnie Becker : It's almost 10 o'clock, Roxanne!

  Roxanne Melman : Sorry.

  Arnie Becker : Did you bring your financial files?

  Roxanne Melman : No.

  Arnie Becker : No?

  [Kuzak closes the door] 

  Roxanne Melman : Look, I appreciate both of you taking the time that you have. But I've changed my mind. I'm going to take the fifth.

  Michael Kuzak : Roxanne, once they've granted you full immunity, you have no right to take the fifth.

  Roxanne Melman : But they can't keep me in jail once I see that it won't make me change my mind.

  Arnie Becker : Did your boyfriend tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : Isn't it true?

  Michael Kuzak : Oh, yes... but a judge can keep you in jail for up to a year before he decides that it won't change your mind. What's more, the U.S. Attorney's Office could withdraw the immunity agreement and prosecute you for insider trading and mail fraud. Now why go through all of that?

  Roxanne Melman : Because one day this is going to be over. One day I'm going to say goodbye to McKenzie/Brackman and make a life with Jimmy. So whatever else happens, I can't do anything to hurt him.

  Arnie Becker : Doesn't it bother you at all that those brokerage accounts were in your name?

  Roxanne Melman : No, it doesn't. Jimmy was in the middle of a divorce and he didn't want his wife to find out about them.

  Arnie Becker : Why didn't he tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : He was going to tell me... as soon as the divorce became final.

  Arnie Becker : Well, that sounds real convincing coming from a straight arrow like him.

  Roxanne Melman : Michael, please, tell the federal prosecutor that the immunity deal you made is off.

  Michael Kuzak : Absolutely not. If you're intent on putting yourself through this kind of a ringer, I want you to march into open court tomorrow and tell him and the judge yourself. Maybe between now and then, you'll come to your senses.

  Arnie Becker : He's got her too twisted for that. She's set.

• Roxanne Melman : Arnie, you don't know the first thing about Jimmy. You've never even met him!

  Arnie Becker : Oh, Roxanne, I've met this guy. I've met him a thousand times. His wife hires me, I make him look bad. He hires me, I'll make him look good. Either way I know him for what he is the minute I see him. He comes on like a romantic but he's only in business for himself. I know this guy, Roxanne. Hell, I've been this guy!

  [Roxanne turns to Michael] 

  Roxanne Melman : Thanks for the legal advice!

  [Roxanne heads out of the door and slams it shut] 

• Leland McKenzie : While I'm sure we're all glad that Roxanne is out of her legal difficulties, by this time we're aware that hers were not the only indiscretions committed. While personal investments are, as a rule, personal business, anyone trading on stock tips even remotely questionable is compromising the integrity of this firm. I trust that those of you involved will take appropriate steps to rectify the situation.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Leland, if I may, the only thing I would add is that since Roxanne's matter with the U.S. Attorney's Office is concluded, I'd like to give her 2 weeks' notice before the close of business today and start interviewing for a replacement.

  Michael Kuzak : Now wait a minute, it hasn't been established that Roxanne knew that those tips were illegal.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That maybe, but this isn't a criminal prosecution. It's a law firm depending upon the good judgment of its employees. Roxanne let us down. Get rid of her.

  Stuart Markowitz : Uh-uh. If she didn't know the tips were based on inside information, how can we punish her?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : And what was her conduct when she did know? Did she immediately offer her cooperation to the federal prosecutor and seek to contain the damage or was her first priority to shield her paramour and further involved this firm's time and manpower in some tawdry little melodrama?

  Arnie Becker : Who the hell are you to vilify her? How many times have you had to call out for help for the simple reason that you couldn't keep your fly zipped?

  Leland McKenzie : All right, Arnold, let's not get into that now.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Whatever past scrapes, I've gotten into, I've never put this firm in jeopardy.

  Arnie Becker : For all your sanctimonious braying, Douglas, neither has she.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Well, I don't intend to let this drop.

  Arnie Becker : Fine, let me make things very clear then. You can express your outrage about this incident. We can have a series of discussions about moral consequences, situational ethics, or whatever you want. Just so you know, if you fire Roxanne, I walk out right behind her.

  [Arnie leaves and heads out of the Conference room. Ann Kelsey is to blame for Roxanne's insider trading. Leland and Douglas need a moment of silence] 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Jonathan, McMurray vs. Brinkley.

  Jonathan Rollins : Uh, $185,000 award plus costs.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That brings Mr. Rollins to 5 and 0. I'd like to see those kind of stats from some other people around here. Seidell tax audits?

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I'm not going to have anything definitive on that until Friday.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Emile's vs. Southland Magazine.

  Victor Sifuentes : Opening arguments scheduled for today.

  Abby Perkins : Your case may be a editorial section of the L.A. Times today.

  Jonathan Rollins : I never would've thought a restaurant review could generate this kind of controversy.

  Stuart Markowitz : Are you kidding? Lorna Landsberg - Who by the way I'd love to meet sometime if you could.

  [Victor nodded] 

  Stuart Markowitz : She's probably the most influential food critic around. She makes and breaks restaurant.

  Victor Sifuentes : More importantly this is potentially a landmark First Amendment case. The same elements that were in Westmoreland vs. CBS, Tavoulareas vs. the Washington Post, Sharon vs. Time Magazine. They're all there. It is the kind of case that makes laws.

  Michael Kuzak : Immortality, Victor. Nothing less.

  Leland McKenzie : It's a serious issue though, if you don't have a free press if they're cowered by fear of being sued.

  Arnie Becker : Yeah, but on the other hand, is the press entitled to be malicious if it means this guy with the restaurant suffers.

  [Leland shrugged] 

  Michael Kuzak : Was H.L. Mencken malicious? Lincoln Steffens, was he malicious? If you don't like someone's opinion, it's easy to call him malicious.

  Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, and there's something else really important to consider here. We now have a client who knows Spago's private number. We'll never be shut out a table there again.

  [Ann laughs. Jonathan laughs, too] 

  Arnie Becker : Could you find out for me, Victor, if she knows of a restaurant that's serving Chinese food from the Hakka region? I think that this might be the next big cuisine.

  [Abby and Stuart laughing] 

• Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Folks, we have to discuss one other matter before we conclude. Michael, what's going on with the United States of America vs. Roxanne Melman's own true love?

  Michael Kuzak : She's under subpoena. If she agrees to testify against Markham, give up whatever profits she made, U.S. Attorney's willing to let it go at that.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Sounds a lot more lenient than I intend to be.

  Arnie Becker : Meaning what?

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Meaning she's history around here. I'll let her get through with her legal travails first out of compassion, but once they're done, it's good-bye, Charlie.

  Arnie Becker : That's not really your call.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : It most certainly is my call.

  Leland McKenzie : All right, all right. Uh... We'll take this issue up at the partners' meeting.

  Arnie Becker : You bet we will.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That's it.

  [Douglas closed his gold pocket watch] 

• [Roxanne Melman and Jimmy Markham are outside the courtroom. Arnie Becker is in the telephone booth] 

  Arnie Becker : She's here.

  [Hangs up the phone] 

  Arnie Becker : Roxanne! Roxanne, where have you been? You're supposed to be here at 9 o'clock!

  Roxanne Melman : Jimmy's lawyer called and said the trial was put till 11:00.

  Arnie Becker : [scoffs]  Ask your boyfriend if it's all right if you consult with your lawyer.

  Jimmy Markham : I got a name, Ace.

  Arnie Becker : I wasn't talking to you.

  Roxanne Melman : Come on, Jimmy, let's go.

  Jimmy Markham : You do pretty good job of talking about me. Why don't you say something to my face?

  Arnie Becker : I'm interested in her.

  Jimmy Markham : Well, I'm in love with her. What's between us doesn't concerned you.

  Arnie Becker : [Yelling]  You're gonna tell me what's concerns me?

  Michael Kuzak : [enters]  Whoa, whoa, we're gonna have a fistfight right here in the corridor?

  Jimmy Markham : Roxanne, everything's gonna be fine.

  [Roxanne kisses Jimmy] 

  Jimmy Markham : I love you.

  Roxanne Melman : Where will you be?

  Jimmy Markham : Attorneys' lounge.

• Michael Kuzak : So have you thought anymore about what you're gonna do in there?

  Roxanne Melman : Yeah. I've thought a lot about it, and there's no way I'm going to testify against him.

  Arnie Becker : This guy got himself a slave girl.

  Michael Kuzak : Arnie, maybe you ought to get a cup of coffee or...

  Arnie Becker : You know something I don't give a damn about the insider trading. But for him to let you take this kind of rap, we've got to be talking about a world-class slug.

  Roxanne Melman : For your information, he doesn't know anything about and he wants me to testify.

  Arnie Becker : What a guy. Did he tell you that?

  Roxanne Melman : Why is it you need to poison my love for him, Arnie? He never did anything to you.

  Arnie Becker : Yeah, but he sure as hell is doing something to you.

  Michael Kuzak : Arnie.

  Roxanne Melman : Forget it, Michael! There's nothing I want to discuss with either of you.

  [Roxanne walks away] 

  Michael Kuzak : Well, that was helpful.

  [Arnie sighs] 

  Michael Kuzak : Come on.

• [Arnie find out what does Roxanne doing in the morning] 

  Arnie Becker : What are you doing in today?

  Roxanne Melman : I just came in to pick up my check.

  Arnie Becker : Why don't you stay home tomorrow?

  Roxanne Melman : Home will feel just as bad as any place else.

  Arnie Becker : I know that you loved him, Roxanne.

  Roxanne Melman : But you know he was a bad guy anyway, right?

  Arnie Becker : That's not what I was going to say.

  Roxanne Melman : But it's great to be right, isn't it, Arnie?

  Arnie Becker : Do you think that I like seeing you hurting?

  Roxanne Melman : [Sobbing]  When did you ever notice?

  [Roxanne got upset and walk away from Arnie. Ann Kelsey and Stuart Markowitz are in the way] 

  Roxanne Melman : Excuse me.

  [Roxanne heads to the ladies room to be alone. But Ann Kelsey wants to see Roxanne. Arnie and Stuart find out what's going]