L.A. Law (TV Series)
Hand Roll Express (1988)
Alan Rachins: Douglas Brackman, Jr.
Quotes
-
[Exiting from the courtroom is Officer Sandra Davis]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Officer Davis.
Officer Sandra Davis : Mr. Brackman.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : A moment.
Officer Sandra Davis : How did you know I was here?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I called your Desk Sergeant and he told me said you were in court testifying. Not another solicitation bust, I hope.
Officer Sandra Davis : Speeding. A guy was doing 53 in a school zone.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Good for you.
[Beeper beeps in Officer Davis' jacket]
Officer Sandra Davis : Sorry.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I want you to know I think your coming to see me this morning display the great deal and spirit and character.
Officer Sandra Davis : Thank you.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Given that and that I've no desire to be punitive. I've decided to drop the lawsuit. I don't believe a promising career should be derailed because of a single incident of poor judgment.
Officer Sandra Davis : Mr. Brackman, I'm very grateful. I don't... I don't know how to thank you.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : May I make a suggestion, let me buy you lunch.
Officer Sandra Davis : Right now?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Is now not a good time?
Officer Sandra Davis : Well, it's not that. It's just - Well, I'm in my uniform and everything.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : So?
Officer Sandra Davis : You don't mind?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : On the contrary, I... I think the authority of blue serge makes for a most pleasing, and if I may say so, feminine appeal. Shall we?
-
Leland McKenzie : While I'm sure we're all glad that Roxanne is out of her legal difficulties, by this time we're aware that hers were not the only indiscretions committed. While personal investments are, as a rule, personal business, anyone trading on stock tips even remotely questionable is compromising the integrity of this firm. I trust that those of you involved will take appropriate steps to rectify the situation.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Leland, if I may, the only thing I would add is that since Roxanne's matter with the U.S. Attorney's Office is concluded, I'd like to give her 2 weeks' notice before the close of business today and start interviewing for a replacement.
Michael Kuzak : Now wait a minute, it hasn't been established that Roxanne knew that those tips were illegal.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That maybe, but this isn't a criminal prosecution. It's a law firm depending upon the good judgment of its employees. Roxanne let us down. Get rid of her.
Stuart Markowitz : Uh-uh. If she didn't know the tips were based on inside information, how can we punish her?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : And what was her conduct when she did know? Did she immediately offer her cooperation to the federal prosecutor and seek to contain the damage or was her first priority to shield her paramour and further involved this firm's time and manpower in some tawdry little melodrama?
Arnie Becker : Who the hell are you to vilify her? How many times have you had to call out for help for the simple reason that you couldn't keep your fly zipped?
Leland McKenzie : All right, Arnold, let's not get into that now.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Whatever past scrapes, I've gotten into, I've never put this firm in jeopardy.
Arnie Becker : For all your sanctimonious braying, Douglas, neither has she.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Well, I don't intend to let this drop.
Arnie Becker : Fine, let me make things very clear then. You can express your outrage about this incident. We can have a series of discussions about moral consequences, situational ethics, or whatever you want. Just so you know, if you fire Roxanne, I walk out right behind her.
[Arnie leaves and heads out of the Conference room. Ann Kelsey is to blame for Roxanne's insider trading. Leland and Douglas need a moment of silence]
-
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Jonathan, McMurray vs. Brinkley.
Jonathan Rollins : Uh, $185,000 award plus costs.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That brings Mr. Rollins to 5 and 0. I'd like to see those kind of stats from some other people around here. Seidell tax audits?
Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, I'm not going to have anything definitive on that until Friday.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Emile's vs. Southland Magazine.
Victor Sifuentes : Opening arguments scheduled for today.
Abby Perkins : Your case may be a editorial section of the L.A. Times today.
Jonathan Rollins : I never would've thought a restaurant review could generate this kind of controversy.
Stuart Markowitz : Are you kidding? Lorna Landsberg - Who by the way I'd love to meet sometime if you could.
[Victor nodded]
Stuart Markowitz : She's probably the most influential food critic around. She makes and breaks restaurant.
Victor Sifuentes : More importantly this is potentially a landmark First Amendment case. The same elements that were in Westmoreland vs. CBS, Tavoulareas vs. the Washington Post, Sharon vs. Time Magazine. They're all there. It is the kind of case that makes laws.
Michael Kuzak : Immortality, Victor. Nothing less.
Leland McKenzie : It's a serious issue though, if you don't have a free press if they're cowered by fear of being sued.
Arnie Becker : Yeah, but on the other hand, is the press entitled to be malicious if it means this guy with the restaurant suffers.
[Leland shrugged]
Michael Kuzak : Was H.L. Mencken malicious? Lincoln Steffens, was he malicious? If you don't like someone's opinion, it's easy to call him malicious.
Stuart Markowitz : Yeah, and there's something else really important to consider here. We now have a client who knows Spago's private number. We'll never be shut out a table there again.
[Ann laughs. Jonathan laughs, too]
Arnie Becker : Could you find out for me, Victor, if she knows of a restaurant that's serving Chinese food from the Hakka region? I think that this might be the next big cuisine.
[Abby and Stuart laughing]
-
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Folks, we have to discuss one other matter before we conclude. Michael, what's going on with the United States of America vs. Roxanne Melman's own true love?
Michael Kuzak : She's under subpoena. If she agrees to testify against Markham, give up whatever profits she made, U.S. Attorney's willing to let it go at that.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Sounds a lot more lenient than I intend to be.
Arnie Becker : Meaning what?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Meaning she's history around here. I'll let her get through with her legal travails first out of compassion, but once they're done, it's good-bye, Charlie.
Arnie Becker : That's not really your call.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : It most certainly is my call.
Leland McKenzie : All right, all right. Uh... We'll take this issue up at the partners' meeting.
Arnie Becker : You bet we will.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That's it.
[Douglas closed his gold pocket watch]
-
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : [Offering chopsticks] Thank you.
Officer Sandra Davis : You come here often?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : My first visit. I enjoy sushi, but my wife never have stomach for it.
Officer Sandra Davis : Is she out of town?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Excuse me?
Officer Sandra Davis : I asked where your wife is tonight?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : We're getting divorced.
Officer Sandra Davis : Oh, that's too bad.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : It is and isn't.
Officer Sandra Davis : What?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I said it is and isn't. This way, I can indudge myself any way I like. I'm Douglas.
Officer Sandra Davis : Hi, Douglas. I'm Sandra.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Are you very experienced at this?
Officer Sandra Davis : What do you think?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I don't know, I'm so confused. Everybody's speaking Japanese.
Officer Sandra Davis : Well, you and I speak the same language.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Then maybe you can help. I haven't had any in a long time.
-
Officer Sandra Davis : What is it you want?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Uh... How's the Giant Clam or perhaps the Red Snapper?
Officer Sandra Davis : Why don't you go for half and half?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Would that be enough for each?
Officer Sandra Davis : Greedy.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : How much is it?
Officer Sandra Davis : 40.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Is it like a Hand Roll?
Officer Sandra Davis : A Hand Roll is 20.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Maybe I should start with the Hand Roll, then.
Officer Sandra Davis : That's it. You're busted. Take him.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : What? Let go of me.
Cop #1 : You're under arrest. Assume the position.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : What? I didn't do anything.
Cop #1 : Soliciting an act of prostitution.
Officer Sandra Davis : You have the right to remain silent...
[Douglas is taken into custody by the cops at the Japanese Restaurant]
Sushi Chef #2 : Arigatou gozaimashita. Sayanora.
Sushi Chef #1 : Arigatou gozaimashita. Sayanora.
Sushi Chef #2 : Sayanora.
Sushi Chef #1 : Bye-bye.
-
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Leland, could I have a word with you?
Leland McKenzie : Oh, certainly.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Shut the door.
[Leland closed the door]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I'm in trouble. I was arrested last night. They're saying I solicited a prostitute.
Leland McKenzie : Oh, Douglas.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : They must be working Sushi bars to crack down a Japanese businessman. I started talking to this woman...
Leland McKenzie : And she was a vice cop.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Yes.
Leland McKenzie : What are you gonna do?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : That's just it. If I take it to trial, the whole thing could go public. The press could get wind of it.
Leland McKenzie : I hardly think that's likely.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Sheila could find out! Her attorney will crucify me. I could lose my children.
Leland McKenzie : All right! Calm down!
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Calm down? These people are Fascists! You don't know what I'm dealing with!
Leland McKenzie : Would you be willing to plead to a lesser charge?
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Absolutely not! I'm innocent. On my father's grave, I was not pursuing her. Given my recent spate of misadventures, I don't care if I never see another woman again. Leland, I am many things a wholemonger is not one of them. I didn't even find her very attractive.
-
Leland McKenzie : Whether you found her attractive or not isn't going to sound very convincing if they produce a transcript.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : What?
Leland McKenzie : A transcript. She had to be wearing a wire.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Of course! Leland, you've got to get hold of it. You'll see it was all some grotesque misunderstanding. I swear, all we were doing was talking about the menu.
Leland McKenzie : Let me see what I can do.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Thank you!
[Douglas hugged Leland]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Thank you.
Leland McKenzie : That's - That's all right.
-
[Knocking on door]
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Come in.
Officer Sandra Davis : Mr. Brackman. I'm Officer Davis.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I didn't recognize you in your uniform.
Officer Sandra Davis : May I come in?
[Douglas don't mind]
Officer Sandra Davis : I realized I'm supposed to write you a letter of apology, but I wanted to tell you in person how sorry I'm about what happened. And I know that as a lawyer you'll take whatever action you think is appropriate. And that if get suspended, I only have myself to blame.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Has the suspension been threatened?
Officer Sandra Davis : Not yet, but it's a pretty safe bet if you go through the lawsuit.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : I see.
Officer Sandra Davis : I don't have a right to ask you for anything... But I know I'm gonna be a good cop, Mr. Brackman. All I've ever wanted is a career in law enforcement.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Yes, I believe I'm taking the full measure of that commitment even as we speak.
Officer Sandra Davis : If you go through with this suit, sir, I understand, but if there's any way we can rectify the situation... Perhaps we could work out some kind of settlement. I could pay you out of my salary.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Money is not the issue.
Officer Sandra Davis : No. Well, I just wanted you to know that whatever you decide to do, I'm prepared to take the consequences. I'm sorry.
Douglas Brackman, Jr. : Well, wait.
[Douglas sees Officer Sandra Davis leaving]