- Lizzie McGuire: I would not go to this party if it was the last party on Earth.
- Student: Last year, she gave us cell phones in the goodie-bags.
- Lizzie McGuire: [screams lowly, suddenly excited] I am so there!
- Miranda Sanchez: Uh, me too!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Wait, did that include long distance?
- Student: Duh!
- Lizzie McGuire: She started with my full name and ended with: "Why can't you just enjoy your childhood?" Fill in the blanks.
- Miranda Sanchez: Uh! My mom gave me: "I don't agree with Kate's mom on how to raise children." Raise! Like we're chickens or something!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: My mom said it was okay.
- Lizzie McGuire, Miranda Sanchez: Uh, what?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Uh, it's depressing, really. You know, my parents think I'm so good I can never get into trouble?
- Miranda Sanchez: Yes!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I can make trouble! I have a dark side.
- [Lizzie smiles skeptically]
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I can disrespect the common areas. I can act with outregard for the safety of others! Hm-m.
- [throws his soda can backwards, high up the air. It lands on a student's head]
- Student: Ow!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, oh! I'm so sorry!
- [turns to Lizzie and Miranda, who are beyond surprised]
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Sorry, yet bad.
- [turns back to the student]
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Here, let me get you a towel!
- [tries to wipe the student's head with the towel, but the student escapes]
- Matt McGuire: Here we are, Dad. The doorway to stardom!
- Sam McGuire: Okay. This is not gonna be that big a deal. We're not gonna be on camera that long. It's just gonna be a fun day together, trying something new.
- Matt McGuire: Something new, like stardom!
- Sam McGuire: Here, let's just sign in.
- Matt McGuire: On the sign in sheet to stardom!
- Donna Pinto: Here they are, the real father and the real little boy I found in the shoe store! This is Steve, our director.
- Matt McGuire: The man who'll direct us to star...!
- [Sam stops him]
- Director: Have the stunt guy set up the harness. Robyn! Where's my blend in?
- Sam McGuire: [to Matt] Did he say harness?
- Matt McGuire: The harness to stardom!
- Jo McGuire: Sam, you flinched for your driver's licence picture.
- Sam McGuire: Honey, this is something Matt really wants to do, and I can get over being a little camera shy for one day. That's why I AM the fun dad! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO! WOHOO!
- Lizzie McGuire: Why should we have to suffer to exercise our constitutional rights to pursuit of happiness? It's simply un-American!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: What's the plan?
- Miranda Sanchez: YOUR plan is your parents take you to the party that you're allowed to go to.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, but that's where you're wrong. See, I told my parents that I wasn't going to the party tonight. In fact, they think I'm at Miranda's house. But I'm not. I'm here. Wanna know why?
- [does a fancy move]
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: 'Cause I'm BAD.
- [Lizzie laughs]
- Miranda Sanchez: We'll see you at the party, Gordo.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Oh, you're not getting rid of me that easily. 'Cause I'm all about the plan tonight. You wanna know why?
- [does the fancy move]
- Miranda Sanchez: [before Gordo can say anything] Yeah, Gordo. You're BAD.