Lou Grant (TV Series)

Andrew: Part 1 (1979)

Jack Bannon: Art Donovan

Quotes 

• Lou Grant : I got a call this morning from a guy who figured out a way to run his car on apple brandy. He says the oil companies and the FBI are buying up all the apple brandy to put him out of business.

  Art Donovan : Apple brandy? Isn't brandy more expensive than gasoline? And why apple brandy, why not pear brandy or plum wine or aquavite?

  Lou Grant : All good questions. Next time he calls, I'll let you talk to him.

• Vern Eggly : The reason I asked you all here is: I think I know where the mystery memoirs are coming from and I think we have a suspect.

  Lou Grant : Colonel Mustard.

  Art Donovan : In the library.

  Charlie Hume : With the candlestick.

  Vern Eggly : Ok, ok, now, now, now what do we know? One: someone on the Trib is writing cheesy, sexy memoirs. Two: no editor has assigned anyone to write cheesy, sexy memoirs. Three: the retrieval code is close enough to our computer language, so that the cheesy, sexy memoirs have been showing up on Lou's terminal and later on Adam's.

  Lou Grant : Vern, just tell us who's writing the cheesy, sexy memoirs.

  Vern Eggly : Don't you wanna hear how I figured it out?

  Charlie Hume : No.

  Vern Eggly : You really want me to just, tell you?

  Lou Grant : Yeah.

  Vern Eggly : It's Joe Rossi.

  Lou Grant : [stands up]  Rossi?

  Art Donovan : Ok, Vern, I wanna know how you know that.

  Vern Eggly : I just walked by his terminal, he's doing it right now.