Photos
Quotes
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Frank Burns : [to MacArthur's aid] I'll have you know that Major Houlihan's father served under the general in World War I.
Hawkeye : Margaret's father was a horse?
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Trapper : Frank! What are you doing?
Frank Burns : Burning books.
Hawkeye : Oh. Any special reason, Dr. Hitler?
Frank Burns : One of the greatest living Americans is coming and I'm not going to let him see some of the trash that's read around here.
Trapper : Plato's Republic? The Life of Red Grange?
Hawkeye : Revolutionaries.
Frank Burns : Right!
Trapper : Robinson Crusoe?
Hawkeye : Everybody runs around half naked.
Trapper : Norman Mailer.
Frank Burns : It's got *that word* in it.
Hawkeye : Frank, you burn one more book, I'm gonna give you a dancing lesson in the mine field. Now, knock it off, gnat brain!
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Frank Burns : Okeydoke. You slackers do what you want. But I'm gonna show the general we're military! And I order you to clean up the unholy mess in there, and if you don't, I will!
Hawkeye : You touch one dirty sock, you remove one layer of crud, you kill one cockroach, Frank, and I will personally grind you into a fine powder and sprinkle you on MacArthur's oatmeal!
Trapper : What he said!
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Frank Burns : [warning Hawkeye to take a good photo of the 4077's officers and enlisted] Now make this good, Pierce! This is going into the memorial album.
Hawkeye : Right, boss. And get in the front row, I want to catch those eyes.
Frank Burns : [pleasantly surprised] Wilco!
Hawkeye : Keep them spinning counter-clockwise!
