- Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly: Uh, Colonel? I'm sorry to interrupt your feeling better, but there's a Mr. Klinger here to see you.
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Thank you, son. Send it in.
- Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly: [convincing Col. Potter that he can rest] I signed tomorrow's forms yesterday. We have 'til next week 'til we're even.
- Hawkeye: [Charles stumbles in drunk] Ahh, rose-nose! Welcome to skid row. Twenty cents a night - DT's included.
- B.J.: Give him the binge rate. That's the third night he's come in this way.
- Charles: [looks at Hunnicut] Brice,
- [looks at Pierce]
- Charles: Honeycomb...
- B.J.: The rummy speaks!
- Charles: Ruined! By a little twirp surgeon!
- Hawkeye: Here we go again.
- Charles: My life is going up in smoke!
- Hawkeye: It will if you don't stop breathing on that stove!
- Charles: Brilliant career, shot to smitheroons! That Potter's fault. First he keeps me here until my talents
- [slur]
- Charles: apt.private... And then he sends little Bobby Shaftnor to come here and
- [slur]
- Charles: humilna-nilnaliate me! I'll get even with him. Some day, he'll be older than I am, and
- [slur]
- Charles: 'n-I'll show him up!
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Next week, when that proctologist comes with his slideshow, you're excused.
- Hawkeye: It's standing room only for that one.