M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Welcome to Korea (1975)
Gary Burghoff: Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [snipers begin shooting as they finish changing a tire] Radar, get in the Jeep!
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : [not wanting to abandon the equipment] This is a general's jack!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Salute it and get in!
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Radar : [in sudden realization of where he is, after being awakened by Maj. Burns] Oh, Korea!
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Bartender at Kimpo : [after serving a Grape Nehi to "Captain" Radar O'Reilly] Does the captain want a straw?
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : We don't use straws in combat, fella.
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Radar : Hey! Hey! Wait a minute! I can't go in there!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Pish Tosh!
Radar : Aw, c'mon. I'm just a corporal!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Do you think that kept Hitler out of the Officer's Club?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : I really wouldn't want to get him into any trouble.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : No problem. Just let me have some of your costume jewelry.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Uh, I've had only five weeks of indoctrination. Is this what they call a field promotion?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : For being brave and nearsighted above and beyond the call.
Radar : Losing a Jeep. Impersonating an officer. All in two hours. If I get in trouble, my mother will kill me!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : What are mothers for?
Radar : Hey! What about my stripes?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Radar, you've heard of lieutenant-generals? Sergeant-majors? You are now a corporal-captain.
[salutes]
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Radar : [under his breath] Hawk!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Huh?
Radar : That colonel.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : What colonel? There's enough brass in here to make a spittoon.
Radar : Over there at eight o'clock. He keeps staring at me.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : He's probably crazy about you.
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Radar : [under his breath] Hawk!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Huh?
Radar : [under his breath] He's coming over here!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Play hard to get.
Radar : Don't horse around!
Colonel : Boys.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Colonel.
Colonel : You all know this is an Officer's Club, don't you?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I'm a Captain, Plain Clothes Division.
Colonel : Uh huh. Corporal Stripes and Captains Bars?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : That's a new directive from the Pentagon. That's right out of G2 and G3 making a G5 Combined Officers Op-Tech Glitch. We're experimenting with a new rank: Corporal-Captain. We're down here taking a survey, to see, uh, you know, if everybody likes it, uh, asking everybody in Seoul.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Coleman Hawkins, right?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Right.
Colonel : Well, I don't like it. I don't like it at all!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [to BJ] Uh, put down one "No;" one "Against."
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Right. One "Negative; Corporal-Captain."
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Thank you, Colonel. We really appreciate your help in this.
Colonel : No, Sir! I don't like it at all!
Radar : He doesn't like it at all.
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Radar : I'll drive, I'll drive!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I'm driving!
Radar : But sir, you can't!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Why not? Says who?
Radar : You're not sober, sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Oh, i'd really resent that if I wasn't drunk!
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Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : That jeep is government property.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : So are you.
Cpl. Walter "Radar" O'Reilly : I never thought of it that way.