- Lois: Just let me talk to him, and I can end this in five minutes.
- Sgt. Rowdy: I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't think that's a good idea. We have trained psychologists to handle kids in these situations. We know how they think.
- Lois: Think? My son doesn't think. He's just driving around in circles. He's made three laps around this city already.
- Hal: [watching the TV coverage] There's our drycleaner again.
- Dewey: [handing the officer a nude baby snapshot] Here's another picture of my brother you can show on TV.
- Lois: Just get him on the phone and let me handle this. I'm the only one who knows how.
- Sgt. Rowdy: Trust me, we have this under control.
- Lois: [spitting angry] Don't think I don't know what's gonna happen. You're gonna do your standard police thing and my son is going to get killed in a hail of gunfire.
- Sgt. Rowdy: Ma'am, that almost never happens.
- [Reese wants to get his learner's permit]
- Hal: Reese surrounded by 6,000 pounds of steel and 20 gallons of explosive fuel. It's like giving a shark a submachine gun.