Peggy: Now that is a real man, not some high school football hero who got married and turned to mush.
Al: Well, I guess it's true what they say: you are what you marry.
Al: Wait a minute now guys, that's my son we're talking about here. The only one who get's to make fun of him is me... and most women.
Al: Well we must have gone back in time, because I'm experiencing deja moo.
Peggy: We're watching the re-broadcast of "Old Man, Older Woman". So much of CBS's audience fell asleep, they're showing it again.
Al: Well Marcie, I'm afraid you and the Joy Cluck Club are going to have to miss Slipping Denture Theater tonight, because me and the guys are watching wrestling!
Bud Bundy: That was nasty Natalie. She's the easiest girl in town.
Al: Bud, if my father had scared away the easiest girl in my town, I never would have gotten married, never would have had you kids, and I'd be upstairs now watching TV in my underwear, the way God intended.