Married... with Children (TV Series)

Love Conquers Al (1995)

Tim Conway: Ephraim Wanker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ephraim Wanker : Listen, now... I gotta talk to you. Uh, it's, uh... It's Mama. Um, she's a little shy.

  Al Bundy : Of what? A metric ton?

• Ephraim Wanker : [about his wife]  I-I-I think she's a little embarrassed to be here.

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, you... You know, Al, maybe Daddy's right. Maybe it'd make her feel better if we stick around and participate.

  Al Bundy : Peg, I'd rather go synchronized swimming with Angela Lansbury. I'd rather have my neck shaved by Ray Charles. I'd even rather have your picture tattooed on the inside of my eyelids than spend any more time with these clowns.

  [the clown sitting among the other married couples looks sad after hearing the comment] 

  Ephraim Wanker : Look, uh, ahem, Al, you leave now, and you can forget about Mama and I patching things up here.

  Al Bundy : All right, I'll stay! But I swear, I'm not touching that bozo with the big red hair!

  [points to the clown sitting nearby] 

  Al Bundy : Or that guy!