- Al: Son, always remember the Bundy Credo. Lie when your wife is waking. Lie when your belly's aching. Lie when you know she's faking. Lie, sell shoes and lie.
- Bud: That's really our family credo?
- Al: No. No, actually our family credo is: Hooters, Hooters, yum, yum, yum. Hooters, Hooters on a girl that's dumb.
- Kelly Bundy: Cousin Jimmy is on his way over to have a little chat with you.
- Bud: W-w-w-what do you think he wants?
- Kelly Bundy: Your b-b-b-butt in a sling.