"Miami Vice" The Cows of October (TV Episode 1988) Poster

(TV Series)

(1988)

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7/10
Bull sperm, miniature cows, commie pigs and a barrel full of monkeys
frankenbenz11 August 2007
Izzy shines (what else is new) in this comedic romp about cold war, black market bull sperm. Not nearly as strong as the other MV comedy entry "Made for Each Other" from season 1, but it's still worth a few cheap laughs. One question begs to be asked: where was the Noog Man?

Harry Shearer also turns in an amusing performance playing a bumbling Fed intent on making sure the miniature cows never fall into the hands of the commie pigs.

I'm at the halfway point of season 4 and the score is: 6 solid episodes, 2 decent episodes and 4 garbage episodes. As a whole, this is better than average for MV and unless the second half of season 4 completely disappoints, then the crown for best season might be won.
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4/10
Switek gets some spotlight but episode is too goofy
Besmircher23 February 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Not the worst episode ever but nowhere near the greatest. Of course long-time Vice fans will know by now that season 4 is a big drop-off from prior seasons (although the beginnings of the downturn were in season 3).

I am always up for another star to get some needed spotlight, and this time it was Switek. Clearly he was in a lead role, which is great, but perhaps because Don Johnson, who obviously had a reduced role, wanted nothing to do with such a goofy episode. But to make the spotlight meaningful for any actor, the writing has to be taken seriously. And this episode was a joke. So I hate it for Michael Talbott that Switek got the lead in a bad episode. This is what they call in professional wrestling "burying your talent". However we do see the foreshadowing of his gambling problems in upcoming episodes as he "invested" in cow futures with Calvin only to be ripped off.

Harry Shearer was top-notch in this episode, him and Martin Ferrero really shined although I get tired of the show goofing on Izzy also. If one is looking for comedy relief, Shearer and Ferrero brought the goods, especially Ferrero's Izzy who is always the master at malapropisms.

However there was more bad than good. The whole cowboy schtick pervading this entire episode was ham-fisted to the point of tacky. If you want to do an alternative episode with a different vibe, fine. But do it smartly, which this episode wasn't in the least. Don't insult fans by putting a cowboy hat on Tubbs and Switek and think it'll be convincing. There is no excuse for this; because as we recall, MV had another cowboy-themed episode entitled "El Viejo" starring Willy Nelson as a former Texas Ranger bent on avenging the death of his old partner's son. That episode was incredibly well-done; it was thoughtful, creative, and used its actors wisely. Nelson, who isn't an actor by trade, pulled off a great role in no small part because of the great writing.

This show has also historically used modern songs to complement certain scenes. But it didn't this time. It used what can only be described as pre-canned corny, outdated country/western studio scores. Why couldn't the show have featured music from a famous country band from the 1980s, such as Alabama, Diamond Rio, the Judds, the Allman Brothers, etc? But that would have required a production crew that actually cared about this episode and remembered what made the show iconic to begin with.

They even had Crockett, not Switek, arrive at the end to confront Calvin. After all, Switek was the one who was ripped off, and if anyone had a grudge against Calvin, it was him. But no, the show decided to goof on Switek once again. Switek could have taken the money and sent Calvin on his way empty-handed, then perhaps given Izzy a good chunk of the money and sent him on his way (showing Stan has a heart), with Switek taking the lion's share for himself, then telling OCB that Calvin took the money and ran. This also would have enabled his gambling from the start. A future episode revolving around Switek's gambling could easily have shown Crockett/Tubbs asking Izzy about the money that Calvin long got away with, only for Izzy to say that Calvin never took the money with him; Switek took it. And go from there. Easy. But that would have required a production that showed respect to a co-star.

While this episode wasn't as bad as others (Missing Hours was terrible), it was a clear and likely deliberate deviation from what made this show such a success. It's amazing just how much better this episode could have been, and how easily so. But at this point, the show's producers were likely just slumming through the series, collecting their checks, and waiting for the end.
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8/10
A more humorous episode
Tweekums29 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
With Caitlin on tour we no longer have to watch Sonny having problems balancing his work with his home life; instead we have the vice team investigating a case involving stolen bull semen and a plot to sell it to the Cubans. The semen came from 'Gargantua' an ironically named bull given that it was actually a miniature! Its owner Calvin Teal explains that miniature cows are just what the third world needs as they can produce far more milk per acre of land then conventionally sized cattle. Needing somebody with his ear the Miami's underworld they turn to Izzy and he manages to find the stolen canister then helps to negotiate its sale. With rival bids coming in from an agent working for Cuban intelligence and an FBI agent determined that the miniature cattle don't get into the hands of the communists... it looks as if Izzy might finally get rich.

I had heard that this episode was down there with 'Missing Hours' in the contest for 'Worst Miami Vice episode ever' and was prepared for the worst; it was no where near that bad in fact it I thought it was a decent comedy episode. Martin Ferrero was on great form as Izzy; his manic gesturing to his two potential buyers was hilarious! Guest stars Gerrit Graham and Harry Shearer were entertaining as Calvin Teal and FBI Agent Timothy Anderson respectively. The story was silly but fun with a decent if not totally unexpected twist at the end. Fans of classic westerns will either be delighted or horrified at the use of some well known music throughout the episode; personally I rather liked that touch; especially when music from 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' was used to draw a comparison between Izzy and Clint Eastwood!
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8/10
Humor episode.
mm-3923 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
The Cows of October is season 4 attempt at humor. The balance episode for Murder of a Lady. Cows of October is viewer relief for the darker/serious episodes. The episode begins with cowboy Gerrit Graham (Calvin Teal) as a con-man who with frozen Bull seamen. The Cubans want the bull product and Harry Shearer (FBI Agent Timothy Anderson) fight for American special interest with snitch Martin Ferrero (Izzy Moreno) caught in the middle. The trades off, and show downs are directed in a tough and cheek Western style. Clothes, facial expressions and music is right out of a Sergio Leone movie. Of course, Crockett figure the con well sort of almost, but the ending is most memorable. Eight out ten stars. Not in the top five, but good.
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