- Wirral Web Presenter: I caught up with coach David Dodds, who was surprisingly upbeat.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: To be fair I think we are starting to show some consistency.
- Wirral Web Presenter: Were bottom of the league.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Yeah, yeah but we are consistently bottom of the league. So the only way is up.
- Wirral Web Presenter: Unless we get relegated.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Yeah, as you say that would be further down again. Good point. Good point.
- Mike Bassett: [Sat in the stands on phone to coach Doddsy after being sent off] Hello Doddsy, can you hear me lad?
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Loud and clear boss.
- Mike Bassett: OK look, tell Jeremy to tuck in on the left.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: What?
- Mike Bassett: Tell Jeremy to tuck in on the left. Hang on a minute
- [Wife Karine calls on another phone and now has a phone on either ear]
- Mike Bassett: Sorry love, I can't talk now I'm in the middle of a game.
- Karine Bassett: I'm locked out Mike and I'm meant to be cutting someone's hair in five minutes.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Middle of the game boss?
- Mike Bassett: What?
- Karine Bassett: Have you got the spare keys?
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: You want Jeremy in the middle?
- Mike Bassett: No on the left.
- Karine Bassett: On the left of what?
- Mike Bassett: No I'm talking to Doddsy love, just try round the back.
- Karine Bassett: I have it's locked.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Jeremy round the back boss.
- Mike Bassett: Will you shut up!
- Karine Bassett: Don't tell me to shut up Mike!
- Mike Bassett: No, not you love. Look. go next door and try and get them off the neighbours.
- David "Doddsy" Dodds: Get him off, bring on Neighbours. Got it boss, will do.
- [Ends phone call]
- Mike Bassett: Not Neighbours! He's injured you bloody idiot!
- Karine Bassett: I am not a bloody idiot Mike.
- [Hangs up]
- Mike Bassett: I'm not talking to you love. Jesus!