- Leo Durocher: I have a business propostion for Mr. Munster, and I wonder if, eh, I could talk to you alone?
- Herman Munster: Eh, eh, certainly. Would you excuse us?
- Lily Munster: Of course, dear.
- Grandpa: In case you need me, Herman, just give me a howl.
- Marilyn Munster: [Lily, Marilyn and Grandpa move off] I wonder what the business propostion is, Aunt Lily.
- Lily Munster: I don't know, but the last time a man talked to Herman alone, he wound up buying a second hand Edsel!
- Charlie Hodges: I never saw anything like it!
- Leo Durocher: I don't know whether to sign him with the Dodgers or send him to Vietnam!
- Lily Munster: Oh Herman, you must realize how much we all love you and need you, each in our own way. And I most of all.
- Herman Munster: Thank you Lily.
- [Herman starts sobbing]
- Herman Munster: Now look what you've made me do! I haven't cried like this since they canceled 'Kukla, Fran and Ollie'.
- Herman Munster: You can scoff if you want Grandpa, but when I get down to that ballpark this morning it's gonna be one, two, three strikes you're out!
- Grandpa: My father and I were very close. And he used to give me such wonderful advice. I remember one day he said to me: son, as you go through life, always bury your mistakes.
- Lily Munster: Bury your mistakes?
- Grandpa: Yes, you see, my father never believed in divorce.
- Charlie Hodges: Hey Leo, where's this great prospect you were telling me about?
- Leo Durocher: He's in the clubhouse, getting his uniform on. He'll be right out.
- Charlie Hodges: Hey, what's he like?
- Leo Durocher: Well, he's no matinee idol, but oh, you, know, it's a whole family, it's a weird set up. Eh, they all look like a bunch of wedbacks from the petrified forrest.
- Lily Munster: I think this whole thing is ridiculous! Imagine, Herman, a grown man of a 150 years old, playing baseball with young men of 55 and 60.
- Herman Munster: Oh boy, your Old Man's gonna be a Big League star!
- [Herman JUMPS up and down with excitement]
- Eddie Munster: Take it easy Pop, the other guys are gonna think you're a crack-up!