- Grandpa: [flipping through a book of potions] Here, potions for the fine arts, such as painting, sculpture, music and bowling.
- Herman Munster: Mr. Gateman, I think we can conservatively say, sir, that you have the best sense of humor in the United States.
- Lily Munster: Eh, Mr. Gateman, would you care for some more pie?
- Mr. Gateman: Mrs. M, seeing as I'm in a gay, party mood, I would love some.
- Grandpa: [as he prepares a potion to make Eddie become an excellent musician] Let's see, Igor, if I can remember that potion. Oh yes! Three strands of Leonard Bernstein's famous sauerkraut! Uhhh... a glass of water from the beautiful blue Danube! Mmmm... one chopped photograph of Ludwig van Beethoven! Ahh! A stein of beer from the Whiffenpoof song! And a bucket of bilge water from the H.M.S. Pinafore!
- Herman Munster: Eh, what's on tonight's menu?
- Lily Munster: Aha! Iguana soup, salamander salad with centipede dressing...
- Herman Munster: Ah!
- Lily Munster: ...and rolled hyena foot roast.
- Herman Munster: Oh goody, that's just what Mr. Gateman likes. Nothing fancy, just plain old cooking.
- Herman Munster: Would you like me to slip off your shoesies?
- Mr. Gateman: No. But I would like you're insurance that the music will be confined to either to semi classical or classical. I detest these new sounds like the Black Bottle or the Lambert Walk.