- Galen Stewart: Golly that was real neat. You must be the strongest guy in the whole world!
- Herman Munster: Well, with the, eh, possible exception of Lil' Abner.
- [laughs]
- Grandpa: So eh, Eddie, I said to Queen Isabella, why not give this Columbus cat the jewels? I mean, after all, they're not doing anybody any good lying around in the top drawer, and besides, he might pick a cruise and find something good!
- Eddie Munster: While Grandpa is taking is nap, would you come down to the dungeon and run some more of his home movies for me?
- Herman Munster: Sure, which ones would you like to see, Eddie?
- Eddie Munster: Oh, how 'bout the track meet in Transylvania you were in, when you were a young guy?
- Herman Munster: Oh, you mean that cross country run?
- Eddie Munster: Yeah!
- Herman Munster: You know, Eddie, I was so far ahead of the pack, the crowd had to run after me with torches to show me the finish line.
- Lily Munster: Herman, you and your stories. Sometimes you act so childish, it's hard to believe you're a 150 years old.
- Eddie Munster: How long have you been taking home movies, Grandpa?
- Grandpa: All my life. As a matter of fact, I was taking movies 300 years before the camera was invented.
- Eddie Munster: That must have been hard!
- Grandpa: Of course it was. And I'll tell you something else: there wasn't even a drugstore to develop the film.
- John Stewart: You get up to your room and don't you leave it until you are told!
- Galen Stewart: But what if I get hungry?
- John Stewart: Well maybe your green uncle Herman will come on over with a nice big fat juicy Dracula burger, charcoal broiled by that pet that lives under the stairs!
- Lily Munster: Oh Herman, You can't expect to be a big hero and save a boy's life every day. Normal people like us just don't have exciting adventures all the time.
- Herman Munster: Well, my life is duller than most. The most exciting thing that happened to me before this was 20 years ago. When a man stopped me on the street and asked me if I was voting for Al Flanden.
- Dr. Leinbach: So, this, eh, playmate of yours, this Uncle Herman, is nine foot tall, he's all green in the face, und on top of his head his bolted on, ja?
- Galen Stewart: Yes, and he lives in a neat old haunted house with a dungeon and they have a real neat pet who lives under the stairs and breathes fire.
- Dr. Leinbach: You see, Mr. and Mrs Stewart, you have here a very intelligent boy. He remembers all the details!
- [laughs]
- Dr. Leinbach: Now, young man if you would be so nice to go upstairs to your room and wait, ja? Good Boy.
- [shouting as the boy runs off]
- Dr. Leinbach: Stay away from the windows!
- Dr. Leinbach: [trying to convince himself he did not see Spot breathing fire under the stairs] Leinbach, you didn't see an animal. In reality you saw a gaspipe with a leak. Understand? Wait a minute, wait a minute, whoever saw a gaspipe with eyes and teeth?
- Herman Munster: Oh, you're German?
- Dr. Leinbach: Ja.
- Herman Munster: Oh, by any chance did you know my family doctor in Germany? Dr. Frankenstein. He made me what I am today.
- [laughs]
- Galen Stewart: [referring to Dr. Leinbach] I think I'd better take him home. He looks like he might get carsick in the house.
- Herman Munster: I don't know what kind of a doctor he is, but you know, he ought to see a psychiatrist.