- [Fozzie and Floyd are having a laugh at Gonzo's expense]
- Gonzo: Just what the world needs - humorous hip persons!
- Long John Silverstein: Ah! This be no intercom, this be a payphone!
- Captain Link Hogthrob: I know, it's a design flaw that slipped by us.
- John Cleese: [shouting at Kermit] You were supposed to be my host, how can you do this to me? Kermit, I am your guest!
- The Muppets: [singing to the tune of "The Impossible Dream"] This is your guest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no matter how far... to dream, the impossible dream!
- The Newsman: Here is a Muppet News Flash! Science has discovered a process which may go a long way towards solving the world's food crisis. Dr. William Edgar of Chicago, Illinois, reports he has found a method of synthesizing Italian dinners out of wool. At a recent press conference, Edgar demonstrated his process by knitting a tureen of minestrone, while his wife Nancy crocheted meatballs.