Muppets Tonight (TV Series)

Whoopi Goldberg (1996)

Steve Whitmire: Kermit the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Bug Llewelyn, Andy Pig

Quotes 

• Seymour : So Rizzo, when do you think we're gonna know if we got the job?

  Rizzo the Rat : Never. You will never know that.

• Clifford : We got Whoopi Goldberg guest starring.

  Kermit the Frog : Ooh.

  Clifford : We got Miss Piggy coming in to do the closing number with her, and it's gonna be a great show! One of the best!

  Kermit the Frog : Mm-hmm.

  Stagehand : Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?

  Clifford : Aw, man, you had to say that.

  [the phone rings] 

  Clifford : Whoop, here it comes.

  Rizzo the Rat : Hey, Clifford, you got a phone call.

  Clifford : Whoop, there it is.

  Rizzo the Rat : It's Miss Piggy.

  Clifford : Aw, man, I knew it!

• Clifford : Yo, yo, yo, Rizzo. What's the 411 on Miss Piggy?

  Rizzo the Rat : Uh, well, actually it's more like a 911. Heh.

  Clifford : What do you mean?

  Rizzo the Rat : Well, you see, there was only two guys I could spare to pick Piggy up at the airport.

  Clifford : Oh, no, Rizzo! You didn't send...

  Rizzo the Rat : I did send. Please don't bite my head off.

  [scene switches to Piggy in a limo, sitting between Andy and Randy] 

• [Rizzo flies by, crashing into a nearby camera] 

  Whoopi Goldberg : You stole my act.

  Rizzo the Rat : You can have it back.

  [faints] 

• Clifford : Man, Whoopi's doing great! She's killing them out there!

  Zippity Zap : My baby!

  Clifford : We may not even need Miss Piggy for the final number.

  Rizzo the Rat : Whoo! I just hope Miss Piggy doesn't figure that out. Heh heh heh heh heh.

  [back in the limo, Miss Piggy's watching the show on TV] 

  Miss Piggy : Oh, Whoopi's doing great. She's killing out there. They may not even need me for the final number. Oh, I just hope Clifford doesn't figure that out.