- Miss Piggy: Oh! Ah! There's a creature on the wing! Oh, and it's tearing the plane apart! Oh, someone help, don't you see it?
- William Shatner: Oh, that guy. I've been complaining about him for years. Nobody does anything about it.
- Miss Piggy: [Realizing] Hey hey hey! We're in the desert! Don't tell me we're lost.
- Randy Pig: Okay, we won't tell you.
- Seymour: So Rizzo, when do you think we're gonna know if we got the job?
- Rizzo the Rat: Never. You will never know that.
- Clifford: We got Whoopi Goldberg guest starring.
- Kermit the Frog: Ooh.
- Clifford: We got Miss Piggy coming in to do the closing number with her, and it's gonna be a great show! One of the best!
- Kermit the Frog: Mm-hmm.
- Stagehand: Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?
- Clifford: Aw, man, you had to say that.
- [the phone rings]
- Clifford: Whoop, here it comes.
- Rizzo the Rat: Hey, Clifford, you got a phone call.
- Clifford: Whoop, there it is.
- Rizzo the Rat: It's Miss Piggy.
- Clifford: Aw, man, I knew it!
- Clifford: Yo, yo, yo, Rizzo. What's the 411 on Miss Piggy?
- Rizzo the Rat: Uh, well, actually it's more like a 911. Heh.
- Clifford: What do you mean?
- Rizzo the Rat: Well, you see, there was only two guys I could spare to pick Piggy up at the airport.
- Clifford: Oh, no, Rizzo! You didn't send...
- Rizzo the Rat: I did send. Please don't bite my head off.
- [scene switches to Piggy in a limo, sitting between Andy and Randy]
- [Rizzo flies by, crashing into a nearby camera]
- Whoopi Goldberg: You stole my act.
- Rizzo the Rat: You can have it back.
- [faints]
- Clifford: Man, Whoopi's doing great! She's killing them out there!
- Zippity Zap: My baby!
- Clifford: We may not even need Miss Piggy for the final number.
- Rizzo the Rat: Whoo! I just hope Miss Piggy doesn't figure that out. Heh heh heh heh heh.
- [back in the limo, Miss Piggy's watching the show on TV]
- Miss Piggy: Oh, Whoopi's doing great. She's killing out there. They may not even need me for the final number. Oh, I just hope Clifford doesn't figure that out.