- Murphy Brown: You haven't experienced pain until the National Enquirer puts your head on Pia Zadora's body.
- Murphy Brown: Maybe running my own country is unrealistic - so I've set new goals. Like live through this day. Keep a plant for more than two weeks. Get a date on Saturday night.
- Murphy Brown: If we're going to be working together, you've gotta brush up on your Motown. Seriously. Those raisins didn't invent that song.