Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)

The Pumaman (1998)

Bill Corbett: Crow, Observer

Quotes 

• Crow : [singing]  Puma Man, he flies like a moron.

• Vadihno : Man is free. Man is master of himself.

  Crow : Man sounds cool.

  Vadihno : But if they come, man is no longer free.

  Tom Servo : Man can get pricey.

• Kobras : [who's played by Donald Pleasance]  Comb the area! Find him!

  Crow : Donald's only use for the word "comb" right there.

• Vadinho : Each man is a God. Each man is free.

  Crow : So if each man is a God, what does that make God?

• Crow : You know I have almost no respect for pumas now? I now know that if I ever run into a puma I can just push it the hell over.

• Kobras : Because you are made of earth...

  Crow : [as Kobras]  Corn grows in you.

  Kobras : ...and to earth you shall return!

  Mike Nelson : Huh? That was an odd thing to say, even for him.

• Henchman : We'll make slaves of men with this mask.

  Crow : And we'll rule fish, too!

• Crow : Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio.

• Vadihno : I did not have to kill to find you.

  Crow : I kill for fun!

• Crow : Yep, Donald "Room clearer" Pleasance.

• Vadihno : My name is Vadihno.

  Crow : I'm an onion.

• Crow : This always happens. People throw me out of the window, tell me I'm Puma Man, then leave.

• [Vadihno hits the Puma Man] 

  Crow : Yes. The Aztec speaks for all of us.

• Crow : Puma Man can tear through pure contact paper.

• [on the Puma Man] 

  Crow : At all times he has the look of a man who's been hit with a fish.

• Mike Nelson : [on Puma man]  Wool over his eyes man!

  Crow : Easily bamboozled man!

  Tom Servo : Three steps behind man!

• Villain : Everybody who goes there doesn't talk!

  Crow : So nobody who DOESN'T go there doesn't NOT talk?

• Vadihno : You were only a boy at the time.

  Crow : Then you were a girl, then you were a boy again.