- Claire Pritchard: Isn't this nice, Grant? We always read the paper together in the morning when we were alive. I'm glad we started again.
- Grant Pritchard: Me too, Claire. I even like it better now. Look at this. Taxes are up. Insurance rates are up. Phone bills are up.
- Claire Pritchard: Why is that better?
- Grant Pritchard: We don't pay them anymore. We don't even have to pay for the paper! Let's face it, Claire, the only thing we have to worry about now is staying at room temperature.
- Grant Pritchard: Don't you know you can be sued for unplugging a TV while someone's watching it? I saw it on L.A. Law!
- Grant Pritchard: I hated science class! It smelled like a terrible combination of formaldehyde and burning sulfur! I can smell it right now.
- Claire Pritchard: No, dear. That's the cafeteria.
- Grant Pritchard: And now, Derek, I think it's time to illustrate Pritchard's third law of motion. When a smaller object hits a larger, uglier object first, the smaller object should really get the hell out of here.