Pinky and the Brain (TV Series)

A Meticulous Analysis of History/Funny, You Don't Look Rhennish (1997)

Rob Paulsen: Pinky

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Brain : Through meticulous analysis of history / I will find a way to make the people worship me / By studying the conquerors of days gone by, / I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry.

  Pinky : So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try!

  The Brain : By studying the past so carefully / I won't repeat the same mistakes of history.

  Pinky : You'll never make another mistake, you see / Cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history!

• The Brain : Attila was a mighty Hun / he ransacked Asia Minor just for fun / But when he got to Europe's banks / he was routed by an army of heroic Franks.

  Pinky : [eating a hot dog]  I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks!

  The Brain : Why pillage like a criminal / when I can send out messages subliminal?

  Pinky : Please send a message to that Hun / to see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun!

  [the Brain hits Pinky] 

  Pinky : Zort!

• The Brain : Caligula was no boy scout / He did things that we can't even talk about / The Romans knew he'd lost his head / when he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mister Ed.

  Pinky : What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred?

  [holds up a picture of Pharfignewton] 

  The Brain : Why rule like such a reprobate / when I can put the world in a hypnotic state?

  Pinky : When everybody's in a trance / you can make the people do a chicken dance!

  [Attila and his horse do a chicken dance] 

  The Brain : [grabs Pinky's nose]  Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you.

  Pinky : [in pain]  'Kay.

• The Brain : In France, Napoleon Bonaparte / thought beating Austria was very smart. / But when he took on England too / he was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo!

  Pinky : And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo!

  The Brain : Why conquer with depravity / I'll win the world by undermining gravity.

  Pinky : And even if your plan falls through / maybe they will name a pastry after you!

  [holds up a cupcake with Brain's face, which the Brain squashes] 

• The Brain : Pay attention, Pinky! When Cleopatra reigned as Queen / with Roman leaders she was often seen. / But when she had no ruling friend / she found a poison snake to bite her in the end.

  Pinky : A bite down there I really wouldn't recommend!

  The Brain : I won't need world alliances / when I'm commanding everyone's appliances.

  Pinky : Oh no Brain, that would really smart, / to be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart!

• The Brain : Hannibal, our book confirms / tried conquering Italy with pachyderms / Just why he failed, nobody tells / but he never could get past the Roman sentinels.

  Pinky : And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells!

  The Brain : An elephant is not required, / if I can use the media to be admired!

  Pinky : The TV viewers you'll delight / unless the network puts your show on Sunday night!

• The Brain : From Ghengis Khan to Charlemagne, / from Alexander down to Tamburlaine, / I find a ruler's tragic flaw / and gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas.

  Pinky : Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas!

  [holds up a picture of Bill Clinton] 

  The Brain : That concludes my little rhyme / I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time.

  Pinky : Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true / Every one of them has failed, and so have you!

  The Brain : ...Thank you for your vote of confidence.

• The Brain : Now come, we must prepare for tomorrow night.

  Pinky : Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night? Sing a song about all the world's cheeses?

  The Brain : No, Pinky, we shall try to take over the world - through meticulous analysis of history!

  Pinky : Aw, but I like the cheese song, Brain...