I talked about en episode of The Pitts already, and I guess I'll talk about one more, but I'm not going to review the whole series. I wouldn't do that to myself and my sanity. So I'll look at the only other episode I actually sat through. This one is about a ventriloquist dummy who comes to life and... does bad things. So how does this little barrel of laughs kick off? With Bob getting his tie stuck in the garbage disposal. Hardy har har. Then Petey comes home from a friend's birthday party they celebrated at a place called Birthdays, Incorporated. What is the deal with the lazy names they give to companies on this show? The Pitts run a store called Mailboxes and More Plus, and now we have Birthdays, Inc. Why not take more than five seconds to come up with a decent name? But then that's half the time it takes to bang out a script to this show on a roll of toilet paper. Anyway, Petey wants to have his own birthday party there, though Bob decides to go one better and throw him a party there at home. He says, "we'll make Birthdays, Inc look like Birthdays Stink." Oh, wow, how did this show not sweep the 2003 Emmys with exemplary writing like that? Oh, and a kid at the party says that same line not even ONE minute later. You know, it wasn't funny the first time! So, what kinds of games will they be playing at Petey's party? First up, Bob introduces a poorman's version of laser tag... with flashlights! When that fails, he invites the boys to come outside and play with Dirt Bikes... the board game! Thankfully, the monotony is saved by a visit from Petey's friend who brings him a cool present: a bootleg copy of Spider-Man 2. There's a moment where (I assume) Mary Jane complains that her bra is about to fall off, at which point Liz cans the movie. At that point, all the boys phone their parents and beg them to deliver them from his horrendous party. In order to save face, Bob dashes down to the basement to find an old childhood icon of his. If this won't save Petey's party... it will make him require even more years of therapy. It's an old ventriloquist dummy... and it's alive. Yeah, no twists here, we'll just come right out and say Bob's hideous dummy Morty is alive. He begs his old wooden buddy to come upstairs and help him, and in exchange, he'll let Morty live with them. Also, I hope the producers apologized to Farrah Fawcett for those shots they took at her. So, how do the two dummies do in their act? Well, let's just say they're no Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy, but do they get some laughs. Now that the birthday party wasn't a total bust, Bob has to uphold his end of the deal and let Morty be their guest for a week.
First thing Bob does is go over the family finances, with Morty present. He reveals his secret password (his name) and shows he has access to all their credit cards and bank accounts. For all you screenwriting majors in the audience, this is what is known as a plot device, and a lazy one at that. This scene only exists to drive the already contrived plot forward. The next day, Morty sends the family out on the town for a day with a gift certificate, and only Faith finds that unusual. The rest of the family doesn't even question it because they're idiots. When they get home, they find the locks changed and Morty throwing a, get this: a dummy orgy. Other living dummies are partying it up in the Pitt house... this was actually written, someone actually thought this was a good idea, and they actually filmed it. And this, my friends, is one of many reasons nobody takes the Fox network seriously. Turns out Morty got into the Pitts' accounts and electronically put everything in his name, thus kicking the Pitts out of their home. They try to straighten it up at the bank, but they have no ground to stand on. Bob tries to claim that Morty outwitted him, and to that I say, no, you idiot, you willingly gave him your password and showed him how to access your assets. They receive no sympathy from the bank manager and are escorted out. They take refuge in an old beaver dam, until Mr. Beaver shows up and kicks them out. With no other alternative, Bob decrees they will get their house back and hatches a plan... with the forced help of one angry beaver. You know, I COULD be watching The Angry Beavers instead of this crap right now. The long and short of it is that Morty gets eaten up by the beaver and the family burns what's left of him in the fireplace. Good night, evil prince. May flights of termite demons sing thee to thy burning rest! Everything seemed to be back to abnormal, as the family knows never to trust a talking dummy again, and the beaver gets one last laugh on these idiots.
Much like before, the writing is godawful, the acting is beyond cringy, and the premise is really stupid. Once again, I know it's trying to be an intentionally stupid show, but that excuse gets old very quick. As far as guest appearances, that's Dan Castellaneta doing the voice of Morty, sounding like he inhaled a pound of helium. Of all the voices he's capable of doing, why did he choose that one? He also plays the bank manager, and I have a feeling he may have owed Mike Scully a favor at some point, or he just really likes money and making a fool of himself. As for the story, it's about a sentient dummy living in the basement for so many years. What was the point of that? Why not reveal he's alive later on and add some suspense? But then, these are the same people who think, "we'll make Birthdays Inc look like Birthdays Stink" is a credible joke. Also, "dummier" is not even a word. I'm surprised this horrible show made it to 5 episodes before being canceled, I would have canned it after the living Volkswagen one. Hard to believe that at the same time this show went into production, Fox had another series in the running called The Grubbs, starring Randy Quaid, but that one was so bad it didn't even make it to air. Hard to think there would be a show out there worse than The Pitts, though I guess the creators of The Grubbs didn't know people like Mike Scully did. I condemn him and his wife for making this show and I condemn everyone who took part in it. Do I recommend "Dumb and Dummier"? Not a chance! Stay away from it and from the rest of this horrible show. The Pitts. Ha. Replace the P with an S and a H and you've got a perfect description of this tripe. I wish the talking dummy had been Chucky, then all our problems would've been solved.
First thing Bob does is go over the family finances, with Morty present. He reveals his secret password (his name) and shows he has access to all their credit cards and bank accounts. For all you screenwriting majors in the audience, this is what is known as a plot device, and a lazy one at that. This scene only exists to drive the already contrived plot forward. The next day, Morty sends the family out on the town for a day with a gift certificate, and only Faith finds that unusual. The rest of the family doesn't even question it because they're idiots. When they get home, they find the locks changed and Morty throwing a, get this: a dummy orgy. Other living dummies are partying it up in the Pitt house... this was actually written, someone actually thought this was a good idea, and they actually filmed it. And this, my friends, is one of many reasons nobody takes the Fox network seriously. Turns out Morty got into the Pitts' accounts and electronically put everything in his name, thus kicking the Pitts out of their home. They try to straighten it up at the bank, but they have no ground to stand on. Bob tries to claim that Morty outwitted him, and to that I say, no, you idiot, you willingly gave him your password and showed him how to access your assets. They receive no sympathy from the bank manager and are escorted out. They take refuge in an old beaver dam, until Mr. Beaver shows up and kicks them out. With no other alternative, Bob decrees they will get their house back and hatches a plan... with the forced help of one angry beaver. You know, I COULD be watching The Angry Beavers instead of this crap right now. The long and short of it is that Morty gets eaten up by the beaver and the family burns what's left of him in the fireplace. Good night, evil prince. May flights of termite demons sing thee to thy burning rest! Everything seemed to be back to abnormal, as the family knows never to trust a talking dummy again, and the beaver gets one last laugh on these idiots.
Much like before, the writing is godawful, the acting is beyond cringy, and the premise is really stupid. Once again, I know it's trying to be an intentionally stupid show, but that excuse gets old very quick. As far as guest appearances, that's Dan Castellaneta doing the voice of Morty, sounding like he inhaled a pound of helium. Of all the voices he's capable of doing, why did he choose that one? He also plays the bank manager, and I have a feeling he may have owed Mike Scully a favor at some point, or he just really likes money and making a fool of himself. As for the story, it's about a sentient dummy living in the basement for so many years. What was the point of that? Why not reveal he's alive later on and add some suspense? But then, these are the same people who think, "we'll make Birthdays Inc look like Birthdays Stink" is a credible joke. Also, "dummier" is not even a word. I'm surprised this horrible show made it to 5 episodes before being canceled, I would have canned it after the living Volkswagen one. Hard to believe that at the same time this show went into production, Fox had another series in the running called The Grubbs, starring Randy Quaid, but that one was so bad it didn't even make it to air. Hard to think there would be a show out there worse than The Pitts, though I guess the creators of The Grubbs didn't know people like Mike Scully did. I condemn him and his wife for making this show and I condemn everyone who took part in it. Do I recommend "Dumb and Dummier"? Not a chance! Stay away from it and from the rest of this horrible show. The Pitts. Ha. Replace the P with an S and a H and you've got a perfect description of this tripe. I wish the talking dummy had been Chucky, then all our problems would've been solved.