- Clarence: Harrison, I can't thank you enough for my Christmas present. That is the ugliest, cheapest-ass tree I've ever seen.
- Harrison John: [about to commit suicide] What are you doing here?
- Clarence: I'm an angel.
- [thunder rumbles]
- Clarence: Angel-in-training. I get my wings if I help you. So please, don't do anything stupid and jeopardize my career.
- Lily Esposito: [in Harrison's vision, she's a mother] Misty Dawn, did you find the bathroom okay, honey?
- Misty Dawn Ford: [spoiled brat] Yes. I hate this place! I wanna go home and play with my Barbie!