- Nicole Julian: In one hour, I'll have a new right knee cap. And once again, I'll be perfect. Thanks, Mary Cherry.
- Mary Cherry: As you know, Nic, I'll do anything to be popular. Anything! Hey, um, is that anesthetic Darvon drip taking effect, hon? Just count backwards from the number of your last sexual partner.
- Nicole Julian: Nine hundred nine, 908...
- [lost consciousness]
- Mary Cherry: Yeah. I'll do anything to be popular... except vandalize my stunning beauty. Now, who's knee cap can I buy thus reeling in status yet remaining scar-free?
- Nicole Julian: [to Sam] Hey, Spam, I thought we were having tuna for lunch, but, no, it's just you, wafting through the halls again.
- Sam McPherson: Hey, Satan, nice implants. Brooke, are you gonna be home for dinner tonight?
- Mary Cherry: Uh, Nic, a logic moment for you. Uh, if I give you my knee, how will I cheer? How will I even try out?
- Nicole Julian: Well, you made it last year with your jaw-droppingly bad 'pig on Nyquil slopping towards the slaughterhouse' routine. Why break a winning streak?
- Mary Cherry: Point taken.
- Nicole Julian: I cannot go on as co-captain of the Glamazons with a Dolby-sound right knee cap that is threatening to crack. You give me yours or your glamorous career will be colder than Lauren Holly's.
- Brooke McQueen: [to her mother] When I was a little girl, I used to play with my Barbies, and you would be Malibu Skipper. And Daddy would be Ken. And you would move back into the Dreamhouse.
- [wistfully:]
- Brooke McQueen: I was so happy.
- Sam McPherson: You didn't give him the number, did you?
- Brooke McQueen: [shamefully] Okay, I forgot to give it to him.
- Sam McPherson: This is... this is about the sink, isn't it? I mean, you always hated sharing the sink.
- Brooke McQueen: Sam, it's not about the sink.
- [sighs]
- Brooke McQueen: I liked having you around. I always wanted a sister, and... even though I fought it, I got one.
- Nicole Julian: [regarding feather headdress and feather boa] Mary Cherry, why are you dressed like a gay turkey?