Martin Short: Jiminy Glick, Miss Gathercole, Various

Quotes 

• Jiminy Glick : Sean Penn and Madonna.

  Lorraine Bracco : I shared my dressing room with her.

  Jiminy Glick : My God in Heaven...

  Lorraine Bracco : That was interesting.

  Jiminy Glick : Yeah I bet, because, 'cause I think Madonna is a spoiled person.

  Lorraine Bracco : In what way?

  Jiminy Glick : ...Ooh, I wasn't expecting that question. Oh, shoot. Um, how do I mean that? Well, I mean, I think that she's just a spoiled person.

  [pause] 

  Jiminy Glick : I just don't know what else to say. Usually, when I make statements...

  Lorraine Bracco : But usually some...

  Jiminy Glick : ...I'm not expected to have a thesis written on it.

  Lorraine Bracco : Don't you think she spoils herself, though?

  Jiminy Glick : Good, thank you. Helping me. Yes, she spoils herself, 'cause she's got, she's, she's got all these riches, and I think she's demanding to people. She's not nice to hairdressers.

  Lorraine Bracco : Wow, well, I was very...

  Jiminy Glick : I don't know that for sure, I'm just guessing.

  Lorraine Bracco : Well, I was very lucky, 'cause when I shared a dressing room together, she was very kind and very, uh, sharing.

  Jiminy Glick : Yes, but you're only coming from the position of actually having met her.

• Lorraine Bracco : I met Sting when I lived in France.

  [speaks French] 

  Jiminy Glick : Honest to God, if I weren't happily married with Dixie, I'd jump you right now. I mean, look what you have going for you: You've got a face like a god-dess, you have this fake French thing, you know about eight words, but you know how to spread them out.

  Lorraine Bracco : From Brooklyn.

  Jiminy Glick : And you've got that whole Brooklyn, "THAT'S MY CAB!". You have that thing going, and the combination is just to make you melt. Any heterosexual will tell you. The gay boys won't.

• Jiminy Glick : I'd love to get you alone in a room and show you what a real man's about.

  Lorraine Bracco : There's a room upstairs if you wanna... fool around.

  [pause] 

  Lorraine Bracco : Come on.

  Jiminy Glick : ...Okay. I'm gonna ask you, cameraperson, and YOU, cameraperson, there is $14 for each of you, to be divided by two. Sound man's involved, that's three into $14. You do the math. This is our secret. We're goin' upstairs!