- [first lines]
- Dr. David Cameron: Michael, I have this fantasy.
- Michael Novotny: Uh-huh.
- Dr. David Cameron: It's Sunday morning and I'm lying in bed. And I hear the little thump of the newspaper, and the sun's just coming through the window.
- Michael Novotny: Yeah?
- Dr. David Cameron: And in the distance... I hear the sound of someone singing very quietly... because they don't want to wake me up.
- Michael Novotny: Well, that's considerate, I think.
- Dr. David Cameron: And as I look across the room... I see through the frosted glass of the shower, the shape of the guy that I love.
- Michael Novotny: Am I conditioning my hair?
- Dr. David Cameron: I'm being serious, Michael.
- Michael Novotny: I know. I'm sorry. It sounds nice.
- Dr. David Cameron: It is nice. It can be nice. It will be nice when you move in with me.
- Michael Novotny: Hey, what do you know? "X-Men"'s out on D.V.D.
- Brian: [after all his clothes were stolen] Twelve Armani suits, four Gucci belts, and six pairs of Prada shoes, gone. You know, I'm starting to suspect gay-on-gay crime.
- Lindsay Peterson: Well, I wouldn't be surprised. You've have more visitors than Disney World.
- Emmett: This is about what a certain someone's going to say, isn't it? Well, I say that you deserve to be loved. And don't let any man, queen, or Brian tell you otherwise.
- [Michael has just volunteered to go to New York with Brian to find Justin]
- Ted: Well, as long as the back seat's empty, I might as well be in it.
- Emmett: Yeah, yeah, count me in.
- Brian: Why do you guys want to go?
- Emmett: Why? Why?
- Ted: How can you even ask that?
- Emmett: Brian, you're one of our closest friends!
- Ted: We can't let you go off on this perilous journey all on your own.
- Emmett: We are going to be with you all the way!
- Brian: I'm touched. What's the real reason?
- [Ted and Emmett look at each other and smile]
- Ted, Emmett: [chanting] Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!
- Brian: Justin, a word. What the fuck is going on out there?
- Justin Taylor: I was just giving my friend Daphne a tour.
- Brian: This is not the White House. George Washington never slept here.
- Justin Taylor: He's the only one who hasn't.
- Daphne Chanders: Please, I'm never getting married. I mean, why be tied down?
- Brian: I love this girl.
- Vic Grassi: I remember it took Roberto and me six months to finally decide to live together. And a week to break up.
- Debbie Novotny: Well, how did you know he was still seeing three of his exes?
- Emmett: Alright, let's sing some Barbra.
- Ted: Can't do Barbra unless you've got the lyrics on the monitor.
- Emmett: Bitch!
- Brian: If one of you starts to sing "People", I will leave you on the side of the road without stopping.
- Michael Novotny: He's not kidding.
- Lindsay Peterson: I guess that's what happens after six years. You just...
- Melanie Marcus: ...Become one.