Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Parallel Universe (1988)

Craig Charles: Lister

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lister : What are you? A man or a munchkin?

  Rimmer : I'm off to see the wizard. The wonderful wizard of Oz.

• Lister : I don't know why I'm going through with this. It's just not possible.

  Rimmer : Why isn't it possible, Listy? Male baboons have been giving birth. They were doing it as far back as the 20th century. Caesarian, naturally.

  [imitates a baby been born through caesarian] 

  Rimmer : Still, Listy. You'll be in good hands. The Skutters will look after you.

  Lister : Skutters? I wouldn't let them open a can of beans.

  The Cat : You're thinking negative. Think of all the glorious and wonderful possibilities about having children.

  Lister : Like?

  The Cat : Like when they grow up and leave home.

  Rimmer : What color is it supposed to turn?

  Lister : Blue for not pregnant, which is the color it's gonna turn.

  Rimmer : And red for pregnant?

  Lister : Yeah.

  Rimmer : Come on, you reds.

• Rimmer : [Looking at the pregnancy testing kit]  It's changing colour!

  Lister : What colour?

  Rimmer : It is! It's changing colour!

  Lister : *What* colour?

  Rimmer : I's blue for not pregnant, right?

  Lister : Yes

  Rimmer : Good news Listy, excellent news!

  Lister : Oh, thank god!

  Rimmer : I'm going to be an uncle!

  [Cut to end credits]