Red Dwarf (TV Series)
Timeslides (1989)
Robert Addie: Gilbert
Quotes
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Rimmer : [to Lister] You call this happiness? Surrounded by toadying lackeys and paid sycophants? Living with a love goddess sex bomb model megastar? You call this contentment? You know, I stand here now and I look at the two of us and I ask one simple question: Who is the rich man? You, with your 58 houses, your private island in the Bahamas, your multi-billion pound business empire, or me, with... with... with what I've got.
[pauses]
Rimmer : It's you, isn't it? Yes, it's all very clear to me now. You - richer and happier.
Gilbert : [showing Rimmer out] This way, sir.
Rimmer : Should have thought a bit harder about that speech, really. I cocked it up a bit, didn't I?
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[Lister enters the courtyard of his mansion and looks at the 50 foot nude, urinating statue of himself]
Gilbert : I am most awfully sorry about the statue, sir. The contractors still haven't devised a way of making it urinate champagne into the courtyard, although I am assured that it will be fully functional for the royal visit this week.
Dave Lister : Oh, get outta town! This is gonna slay 'em!
Gilbert : Indeed, sir. I am only just recovering from the hilarity of the gag myself. It is almost Swiftian in its rapier-like subtlety.